NOT FOILED AGAIN
DIGGERS — AKA METAL DETECTOR HOBBYISTS
Every day they got up, bright and early, Dexter and his buddy Nash, metal detecting for fun and extra cash. That thrill of searching, an excitement to find something lost over time, or simply forgotten, left behind.
While wracking their backs with too heavy packs, they’d sometimes bet on who could find the first treasure, then sabotage each other’s sensitive metal detectors.
Traveling the countryside, seeking buried treasure, braving all kinds of unsettled weather. Both constantly losing blood by those bothersome biting bugs.
Searching in valleys and on high mountain peaks, forests, secluded beaches, and shallow bouldery creeks… they hunted for weeks.
They’d ignore those pesky NO TRESPASSING signs, especially nearby abandoned gold mines. They’d always still venture beyond the private property gates. Dexter had a license, certified by the state, but Nash only had his blind luck and shadowy fate.
Dexter found odd kinds of treasure.
Nash just found mostly old trash.
Dexter uncovered doorknobs, horseshoes, escutcheons, buckles, sleigh bells with ornate designs and fanciful forms. Nash just found cans filled with hundreds of squirming earthworms.
Dexter dug up historical artifacts from centuries past… but not Nash.
The objects Nash found were damaged and trashed — crushed or smashed — while Dexter insensitively just laughed.
When Nash then fell into poison ivy, or poison oak, Dexter kept giggling, thinking his rash was a complete hilarious joke. Sometimes Nash tends to wonder if their friendship is utterly in the dumpster.
Then Dexter also stepped through stinging nettles, while detecting some significant silvery metals.
People often lose their stuff for no particular reason, none. For Dexter and Nash, finding it again was supposed to be fun. That’s until Nash found that shiny new nickel-plated pearl-handled gun.
The owner recently lost it “on purpose,” — placed in a leather sack, buried it deep, hiding any felonious secrets it might keep.
Get Peter W. Collier’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
The gun was empty, nothing else in the sack, and engraved on the bottom was: “Property of Jack.”
Nash erupted, “This is from that robbery last month, near Moose Jaw! The gang’s still free — after their criminal banking gold withdrawal — they’re still out there, dodging the law. This pistol is a vital clue, and it’s in perfect condition… almost brand new!”
Dexter never even noticed, just a bit further below, there were a half-dozen bars of pure gold.
Aside from the gun, Nash never told him about that other part of the stash, so Dexter thought it was only more of Nash’s usual uncovered trash.
Since most of their old maps were out-of-date, and they’d forgotten a compass to estimate which way forward, or back to the gate, they were lost… not knowing which way to take.
They passed by a dozen hidden trail cams, with wires dangling, as they focused on their other totally wireless ramblings… like taking selfies for later boasting on their social media postings. They posed with shovels raised in action, not realizing each picture was getting actual attraction.
Still, without reception and no direction, finding their way back was an impossible recollection.
When Nash finally told Dexter, all about the gold, it was too late. Jack, the bank robber, was already nearby, deciding their final fate, since they uncovered it all, including his portion of the haul.
A twig snapped, then a cough, and a voice, dry and gruff, “You boys were digging too deep, not knowing when it’s enough. It may not have been your plan, but you’re standing on my remote and private land.”
Looking like a seasoned criminal, dressed in black, Jack wanted his favorite gun back.
He’d been watching the two, wandering around his private property, like they do. Jack brought a couple of bullets along, too, “What were you planning to do?” Jack didn’t expect an answer just consequences for those two.
Dexter asked, “Can I watch Nash first go ahead?” — then adding, at the end, “After hiding the gold, he’s clearly not my friend.”
Jack responded, “You’ll both first need to do some more hole digging.” Considering that’s what they do, it all seemed wholly fitting.
They began to dig with Jack the criminal standing guard, until Nash whacked his shin real hard.
While Jack hopped and hollered, Dexter took aim, then threw a rusty old horseshoe –solidly enough for Jack to forget his own name. It bonked his head with a clang and a clunk; he collapsed in the hole… the perfect slam-dunk.
They tied him up with his own trail-cam cord, didn’t get to keep the gold, but there was a sizeable reward.
Dexter and Nash learned that real treasure, in the end, was a shared plan, teamwork, a good horseshoe… and a true friend.
© 2025 Peter W. Collier
