Are they the one?
How do you know you're with the right person?
I have been with my boyfriend for about 1 year and half, we have known each other for 4 years. We do everything together, we have learn and grown with each other, I cannot imagine my life now without him be cause he has became my routine.
but still, how can I be sure he is my person?
I think there are 3 common ways of answering this question:
- When you know, you know;
- If they wanted, they would;
- They make you feel enough;
I don't agreed with any of this statements.
In my opinion they are “TikTok advices”, but I know a lot people think about this phrases when they are insecure about there relationships.
But they really shouldn't.
What does “when you know you know” even mean?
Im an indecisive individual ,I never know what I actually know. And even if I think I know ,how I am sure? I have friends who used to swear there partners were the one be cause they felt it, and guess what, they spend the whole relationship miserable. Because TikTok does not know how your relationship is doing, and neither do you because most of the feelings that you feel when you're “in love” are never racional.
So why trust a statement about your relationship, if even YOU arent sure about any feeling?
There is nobody who knows better your own relationship than yourself, even if it takes a lot of time to figure it out.
So I believe the phrase “when you know you know”, should be use in a different situation. It should be use when you know the relationship is weird because you feel that is weird, not because of TikTok or your friends.
But because you feel it!
“If they wanted they would”, you know, this one I can actually understand but still, you do not know what is going on in your partner head. Don't think your relationship isn't doing well because they should know you wanted something specific. Especially if it's only the beginning, you need to get to know your partner!
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Be patient, some atitudes take time to understand.
“They make you feel enough”, On this last one I think its kind of difficult to explain, your partner may make you feel enough but what is feeling enough? And are you going to feel enough all the time?
Fealling enough may not even be real or may not even stick around. Of course I may feel like this if I feel happy and secure with my partner, but what I get a bad news, Am I going to still feel enough and complete?
Of course I understand that the “feeling enough” is way more about confidence and feeling love, but this kind of feeling aren't meant to be feld all the time.
We are not meant to be “enough” all the time.
Now, I am going to give my opinion on the actual questions.
Are they the one? How do you know you’re with the right person?
I am young and I havent been dating for that long, but I know a lot of young people think the same way that I did. My boyfriend doesn't have to be my person or the person I spend my whole life with.
The only thing that I have to know right now ,is the way he makes me feel.
He doesnt make me cry, he doesnt make me feel wrong or different, he makes me feel confortable either with him or myself. He shows me that my personality isn't too much or too difficult, that even when I AM difficult for him, it's nothing.
He makes me smile, he changes my perspective about things, he starts liking things because I like it, he includes me, he always makes me feel seen.
He makes plans because he knows how much I like being outside, he sleeps with me everything my anxiety kicks in, he makes sure I feel seen when we are with other people, he always remembers to check in on me, he knows what are my favourite holidays, foods, activities, so we can do it together.
He never yelled at me, he never letted me sleep sad, he never ignored our fights and always made sure we talked thought it and hugged it out.
So maybe I am not sure If he is the one Im going to marry or have kids. I don't even know if he is the right person or the one.
But guess what?
I don't have to know yet.
Because right now Im happy, Im completed and Im enough.
So maybe I lied before, there are only 2 statements that don't answered my question.
