Bride Price: A Woman’s Worth
March is Women’s History Month. In celebration of International Women’s day, March 8, I decided to take a look at something that centers around women in Zimbabwe: bride price. As society shifts into a more urban mindset, questions are often raised around this practice and how it fits into the lifestyles many people are now living/pursuing.
So, what even is bride price (AKA dowry/lobola/roora)? In a nutshell, it is a gift in monetary form that a man gives to the family of the woman he wishes to marry. Some cultures reverse this where the woman gives a gift to the man’s family. This is a part of tradition in cultures all over the world, and in Zimbabwe, it’s been practiced for generations in the different tribes. Historically bride price would be set by the men in the bride’s life (her father or uncles) and would be presented by the groom when he approached her home as a sign or token of appreciation to the woman’s family for raising her well. It was also treated like a deposit for purchasing a “good” wife; almost guaranteeing that she will perform the duties of one.
Bride price is not the only thing that embodies the women of Zimbabwe, but it seems to be a large factor in defining a woman’s worth. It is still practiced today and is increasingly becoming a controversial topic among Zimbabweans looking to tie the knot. Lawyer and women’s rights activist, Dr. Priccilar Vengesai approached the Constitutional Court of Zimbabwe contesting the practice of bride price in the country — her argument being it reduces women to simple “assets” and promotes gender-based inequality — and ultimately ban it.
I was curious to hear what people around Zimbabwe (especially youth) thought about bride price. So, I asked around in the form of a survey. Out of about 40 men and women who willingly answered the questions, only 31 percent thought that bride price was a relevant concept in today’s society. When asked if they would want to pay or have bride price paid for them, 43 percent answered “yes”, 33 percent answered “no”, and 24 percent didn’t know what they wanted. A few comments indicated that people wanted to keep it in practice because it is biblical (Jacob and Rachel).
I understand people having mixed feelings and opinions about the practice of bride price. The negative connotations that follow behind it have made many people reluctant to keep it alive. We laugh about it, but we all know a story or two when bride price was treated as a get-rich-quick scheme. It has been associated with “buying” a wife instead of it being treated as a sign of respect and a “thank you” for the woman who will now take the man’s last name.
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It often strikes as surprising when we hear of people who are well off asking little for their daughters hand in marriage, much like Dangote’s daughter. Considered Africa’s richest man in 2018, with a net worth estimated at $14.1 Billion by Forbes, Alicko Dangote asked only $1,388 as dowry from the family of the groom in March, 2018. Many would assume he would have asked for something a little more fitting to his socioeconomic status.
However people choose to view the bride price practice, it is undeniably a large part of our tradition in Zimbabwean culture. If the requested bride price is not presented for a wife, it is considered almost stealing one. However, with the increasing economic challenges and culture changes, people are seeing it a little differently. Cohabitation is slowly becoming more popular, despite it being frowned upon. In some cases, a man will go through with paying it, and move on to start a life with his wife without a white wedding. People are starting to open up to marrying and settling down differently. So, if people evade paying bride price, does that take away from a woman’s worth?
Women are the center of this practice, but they are not the only reason for it. As I said before, bride price is paid as a thank you to the bride’s parents for raising her well; educating her and teaching her good morals. Some people see it as a mark of a new relationship between the two families who are being joined by the two getting married. So, if we do away with the practice, what is taken away from women? If anything it takes away a chance for families to connect, a chance to show respect, and a precedent of marriage standards to be set. I don’t think this necessarily brings worth to a woman, but vice-versa. It allows a woman brings worth to the families and to the marriage.
This goes for the men as well. The fellas are required to make the bride price and make sure to respect and honor their bride’s family and the bride herself. This may not always be easy — from pleasing the not-so-friendly in-laws to coming up with the required amount of money to even negotiating to meet the family half way. All that effort brings value not only to the couple to be married, but to their relationship with each other and with their families.
I believe bride price is an essential part of marriage according to our cultures in Zimbabwe. However, I think there is room for a little bit of updating to happen as culture changes. For instance, Zimbabwe is generally a patriarchal society where men are undoubtedly the heads of the households. However, women-headed households are on the rise for various reasons. Gender roles may switch where you find the single mothers heading the process for their daughters or sons. Many who are abroad are unable to go through the traditional proceedings, and in turn modify it to suit their circumstances.
A UK based couple decided to work for their bride price which would be gifted back to them. The wife, who is originally from Zimbabwe felt it was important for her Ghanaian husband to pay her bride price to her mother as her father had passed away. She took up a second job to help them reach the wanted amount incentivized by the fact that it would return to them. You can read the story here.
I’d love to hear what you think about this post and let me know if you have any questions.
