Member-only story
In the past few months, I’ve often felt drained and weighed down by my own productivity. I started to believe I wasn’t doing well enough that I had failed, wasted so much time, and let life pass me by. Bills piled up, house hunting became frustrating, a lot was happening at the same time and at some point I broke down.
I couldn’t fully express my exhaustion to anyone else because I felt no one would truly understand, so I wrote a raw, honest letter to God about how I’m over back and forth. The truth? I wanted life to move smoothly at my own pace like it was a fast and furious ride. I didn’t want to accept the “process” when it felt like a delay, when it felt like being stuck.
In that low moment, I opened YouTube just to distract my feelings like I would sometimes do and decided to rewatch an old video of T.D. Jakes praying for his daughter. It was about the cost, the creativity, and the tenacity of the oil and he reassured her that the grace of God would always be sufficient to carry her through. Those words pierced me deeply, and I broke into tears.
Then I thought to scroll through the comments, and to my surprise, I found one I had written two years ago. In it, I had said I would return to that video whenever I missed my dad and felt broken because I felt like it was him praying for me the very first time I watched the video.😩
