It’s Almost Over
I have mixed feelings knowing that you are going to get married.
Years passed by, months passed by, and days went by. After many years had passed, I still believed that you would be my soulmate for my entire life. I came to your house when you were in senior high school. You were always at home before you went to college. I was happy whenever I came and saw you there.
I don’t really remember when that handshake happened. I just remember that you shook my hand first, and I shook your hand back. It happened after I picked the same color of sajadah that your mom gave to me. At that moment, I believed that you would be my forever. I saw your eyes and wondered what was going on. My mom said it wasn’t supposed to be like that. You let go of my hand, and you were laughing.
I have had a crush on you since we were kids, but it was never spoken. I don’t know why I trusted something. I trusted you, and I believed that we would be together for our entire lives because of that handshake. It was weird, actually, but I don’t know how I could trust it so strongly.
Since then, I looked at you differently. I saw you sitting and looking at your phone. It was a black iPhone 12. You didn’t look back at me, but that was fine. You sat between your parents.
I miss you, Mas.
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I only have one year left to love you. After you keep your promise to Allah, I won’t love you anymore. I will let this feeling go. I will move on. Hopefully, I can.
It was my mistake to believe my feelings. It’s my fault for believing that you would be my soulmate. Now I’m living with that mistake, and I’m enjoying it. I’m happy to have passed through this love for you. You are my spirit to achieve many things that once felt impossible.
By the way, I usually scroll through your LinkedIn to see what you have achieved. From there, I became inspired to achieve those things too. I joined an essay competition, did research, joined an organization, and more.
Thank you, Mas. I hope your other dreams come true. Please post more of your daily achievements so I can know that you have worked hard and made it through your days.
Mas, if you know, here I am. Someone who is proud of you, proud of every decision that you have made, proud of everything you have gone through, and proud of your spirit.
I will love you until I get bored. Until I think it is too much. But for now, I will enjoy the moment because you have inspired me so much that I can empower myself to work harder and afford my dreams.
I hope you will always inspire me and lead me.
