Terrible Inferences: I Might Just Start A Series
Introduction
Like most people, I’ve got a vast number of ideas that regularly come to mind. Many of them are absolute bat-shit, and are discarded immediately. I would like to think that everyone has a similar filtering process, but clearly that would be hoping for far too much of humanity.
Some of those ideas though inevitably get sorted into the “iono” pile. The place where ideas go to be tested, pushed against, and sometimes even implemented. As such, given my habit of writing to work shit out, and doing so in a public way, I might as well do so with some of these too as they come to mind.
This is the first of what might become many, or not. Depends on variables I’ve yet to determine. Either way, you mind peeper, the first one is coming post-haste. Which, now that I think about it, wtf does even mean? After quickness? It makes sense…sort of, but just feels..ew.
Driving Habits As Personality Traits
I’ve long been of a mind that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they drive. Many times have I been red faced and screaming obscenaties as the drivers in front or behind me. As you no doubt have surmised, I am in fact a rager of the road.
Not from a selfish view though. I do not get mad at people doing stupid shit while driving because of any perceived delay to my day, but rather out of a sense of inequality.
What? Inequality? How did I stretch my logic into such a pretzel shape you ask? Easy. If you do not use your turn signal when changing lanes or making a turn into a location not existing near a stop sign, you sir ( or madam ) should be flogged to within an 3 inches of your life. Twice.
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The idea that someone is so engrossed with effort in operating a vehicle that they simply cannot spare the extra processing power to use a single finger to flip on the flicker is very alien to me. In fact, I’d go so far as to say you probably shouldn’t be driving to begin with.
“But Ryan, people just forget sometimes.” You are correct, they do. And those people should be flogged within 2 inches of their life. Twice.
If you are not mindful enough to flip on a turn signal while operating a 4 ( or more ) wheel death box, then I have no remorse in suggesting the flogger get to flogging your sorry hide. Twice.
There are limits though. Three times would likely just be overdoing it, border line unethical even.
The worst display of selfishness on the road though, are those freaking bags of quivering yellow bellied mop heads that merge onto the interstate doing well under the speed limit for no apparent reason other than sheer lack of perception power. Do you realize that the interstate of full of people traveling at 70 miles per hour? And those are the ones that are playing by the rules over in the right lane. There are far more of us travelling at a greater velocity in the middle and left lanes.
So what happens when you slow moving nitwits decide to ease your way onto the interstate? It pushes the average everyday citizens traveling in the right lane, over into our lanes which then results in cuss words, profanity, empty threats, and a general trend of hate mongering all around.
So, FLOGGED! Within an inch of your life. Twice. For a second offense. The first time I can let slide because….learning curve an all that. Gotta give the people getting flogged a chance to serve an example to the first timers to discourage transgressions in the future.
So whos with me? I am thinking of getting a bill put in to congress to get a flogging clause into the constitution somewhere. Pencil it in between freedom of speech and right to bear arms. The right to flog dumbassery in all its flavors.
Conclusion
There you have it. People who do not use their turn signals and/or merge onto the interstate are selfish people by nature. It’s observable in nature everywhere you look. So be cautious out there, do not get pushed into a lane you do not want to travel in, and be on the lookout for mop heads.
