Daily diary 1202
Sometimes you know the answer, but the words refuse to come at the right moment. Later, guilt creeps in. That’s what I’ve been experiencing in the interviews I attended this month. I realize now that I need to push myself harder than before.
I also reflected on how much of my twenties were spent at home, with limited exposure to the outside world. Growing up in Delhi, I was often told to return home before sunset. My mother, who worked in a government office with fixed hours from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., never preferred late-night jobs and couldn’t relate to such work schedules. She was hardworking, managed the household with devotion, and lovingly prepared simple vegetarian meals. Her discipline shaped our habits in ways that were impossible to ignore.
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We were content with what we had. We prayed together. We watched TV together, even when mobile phones arrived — we still chose the shared screen over individual ones. We knew what was happening in each other’s lives. Privacy was rare, but togetherness was abundant, and we cherished it.
After my mother passed away, many things fell apart. In moments of weakness, I sometimes blame myself — wondering if it was my mistake that I lost her, questioning why I wasn’t near her when she needed me most.
When I joined my first job, I remember how much I cherished the Infosys Mysuru campus. The cleanliness, the greenery, the calm pace of life — it captured my heart. I would have preferred staying in Mysuru, but work pushed me to Bangalore, and later the lure of money led me from one job to another. My current workplace doesn’t even offer walking space, apart from circling the building.
Now, as my thirties unfold, I’m beginning to realize the importance of things I once took for granted — and slowly, I’m learning to get over myself.
Confidence to follow your passion and turning to yourself.
