Growing with What You Love
Last week, I stalked someone online.
Yes, I did. I searched for his full name, dug up his workplace, went to LinkedIn, and scrolled through more than I probably should have. All because I find him really interesting. It felt weird and oddly satisfying at the same time. You know that mix of guilt and glee? That’s exactly where I was sitting.
But here’s the interesting part: somewhere in the middle of that deep dive, a thought hit me like a cold drink on a hot day: the last time I did this was around May 2023. Almost two full years ago. And the version of me who spent hours happily searching for people online, laughing at herself for it, didn’t disappear. She just… got quieter. I had grown, apparently. And somehow, growing up had made me believe I needed to put down things I genuinely enjoyed.
It got me thinking: why do we do that to ourselves?
Growth Shouldn’t Cost You Your Joy
There is this narrative that follows us around like an uninvited guest, the idea that growing up means growing out of things. The things you love, the habits that bring you small pockets of joy, the quirky little routines that make you suddenly feel too small, too silly, or too childish to carry into the next version of yourself.
We begin to treat our favourite things as things we need to outgrow, not things we get to keep. And that is one of the most unnecessary trades we make in the name of progress.
Growth is real, and it matters. But growth that strips you of joy is not growth; it is a different kind of loss in disguise.
You Can Evolve and Still Show Up for What You Love
Honestly, I think we have been looking at this all wrong. We tend to imagine growth as a straight line; you shed the old, you step into the new. But life is rarely that clean. Growth, at its best, is more like a tree. The roots don’t disappear when new branches form. They go deeper.
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The things you love can do the same. They do not have to stay exactly as they were, but they do not have to go away either. Your favourite hobby can grow as your skill level improves. Your love for music can deepen as your taste expands. Your guilty-pleasure habits (yes, even the ridiculous ones) can still have a seat at the table, just with a little more self-awareness attached.
You are allowed to evolve and bring your favourite things along for the ride.
What Happens When We Let Go Too Soon
When I realised I hadn’t done something I genuinely enjoyed in almost two years, it didn’t feel like a trophy moment. It felt like a small loss I hadn’t noticed happening. That is the sneaky thing about abandoning what you love in the name of growth; it often goes unannounced. One day, you just look up and notice the absence.
And the worst part? Nobody asked you to give it up. You decided on their behalf. On behalf of some imagined, more serious, more respectable version of yourself, it was time to let it go.
Here is what I want to say plainly: you do not owe anyone a sanitised, stripped-down version of who you are. The things that light you up, no matter how niche or odd they might seem, are part of what makes you worth knowing.
How to Grow Without Cutting Things Off
Start by giving yourself permission to still like what you like. That is the first and most important step. Then, find ways to let those things grow with you, read more around your interests, find communities that share them, and add layers instead of walking away. Growth and enjoyment are not enemies. In fact, the things we genuinely love are often the things that teach us the most about ourselves when we give them enough room.
Most importantly, check in with yourself regularly. Ask: What have I stopped doing that used to make me happy? Did I choose to stop, or did I drift away from it? The answer might surprise you.
End Notes
That online stalking session last week reminded me that there is still so much of the old me worth keeping. She was curious, a little chaotic, and absolutely unbothered and honestly? She had great instincts. Growth does not have to mean goodbye. Sometimes it just means come on, let’s go together.
So here is your reminder: bring your favourite things with you. They deserve to see who you are becoming.
