Shared
1 Thessalonians 2:4–12 (NIV)
4 On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. 5 You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed — God is our witness. 6 We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. 7 Instead, we were like young children among you.
Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, 8 so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. 9 Surely you remember, brothers and sisters, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. 10 You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. 11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
Why Paul Has To Explain Himself
Yesterday’s chapter was Paul thanking God for this young church. Today he does something that looks odd at first. He stops to defend how he behaved while he was with them.
It makes sense once you remember how he left. He was in Thessalonica a few weeks, a mob formed, and his friends sent him out of the city at night. He never came back. From the outside, that looks a lot like every travelling speaker who ever passed through a Greek city — arrive, gather a following, collect what you can, disappear when it gets hot.
So people in the city were probably saying exactly that. “Your preacher ran. What did he really want from you?”
Paul does not answer with a theory. He answers with memory. Again and again in these verses he says “you know,” “you remember,” “you are witnesses.” He is not asking them to trust him. He is asking them to think back on what they saw.
Not Flattery, Not A Mask
He lists what he did not do.
“we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed”
Flattery is telling people what they want to hear so they like you. The mask is the friendly face over a quiet agenda. Both are ways of using people while looking like you are serving them.
And then he gives the reason he could avoid them.
“We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.”
That is the root of it. If the audience I am really playing to is the people in the room, I will drift toward flattery, because their approval is what I am after. If the audience is God, flattery is pointless. He sees the motive, not the performance.
I find that line searching. Most of my small dishonesties are not big lies. They are little adjustments to be liked. Agreeing a bit more than I mean. Softening something that should be said plainly. Paul says the cure is not trying harder to be honest. It is changing who I am trying to please.
A Nursing Mother, Then A Father
Then Paul picks two pictures that no one expected from an apostle.
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“Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you.”
He says he could have pulled rank. He was an apostle. Instead he describes himself as a mother feeding a baby. A nursing mother does not get anything back from the child. She is up at night, she is tired, and the whole relationship flows one direction.
A few verses later he switches to a father.
“we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you”
Notice “each of you.” Not a crowd. A father with several children does not give one speech to all of them. He knows which child needs comfort and which one needs a push.
So he was gentle like a mother and he pressed them like a father. Care that only comforts can leave people where they are. Care that only pushes can crush them. Paul did both, and he did it person by person.
Not Only The Gospel But Our Lives
This is the verse the whole chapter turns on.
“Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”
Paul could have delivered the message and kept his distance. Many teachers do. You give people the content and you protect your own time, your energy, your private life.
He did not. He shared the message and he shared himself. They saw him eat, work, get tired, and pray. The word “delighted” matters too. It was not a duty he resented. He was glad to do it.
And it cost him. He reminds them that he worked “night and day” so he would not be a burden to anyone. He was making tents while he preached. He paid his own way so that no one could say he came for their money.
That is what answers the accusation we started with. A man who is after your money does not work two jobs to avoid taking it.
Walk On
This chapter is a quiet challenge for anyone who helps other people — parents, friends, leaders at work, anyone who teaches or serves at church.
It is possible to give people the right words and keep the rest of ourselves back. It is easier. It is also safer. Paul shows another way. Let people see your life, not only hear your message. Be gentle where they need gentleness, and honest where they need a push. Do not use them, even in small ways, to be liked.
So two questions to carry today. Who am I really trying to please when I speak? And is there someone I have been giving my words to, but not my life?
All glory to God — forever and ever. Amen. 🤍
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