Your Name
Saying you hate your name never really made sense to me. I was never quite sure what your reason was. Because your name, no matter how simple you think it is, or how many people happen to share it, was never the same to me.
I’ve heard that name many times before. It existed long before I knew you. But ever since you came into my life, it became yours. Now whenever I hear it, I find myself looking and hoping. Looking around as if that name somehow belongs with mine. As if hearing your name means there’s a chance you’ll be there too. It’s strange how a name can become tied to a feeling.
I know I’ve spent more time talking about how your name makes me feel than explaining why you shouldn’t dislike it. But for me, its beauty was never really in the letters.
It’s in the person who carries it.
Yes, it’s a common name. Okay, I’d agree with that. But you made it feel rare. You made it feel different to me. The moment I got to know you, that name stopped belonging to everyone else. Sometimes, when I hear it out loud, I turn around expecting to see you, forgetting for a second that other people have that name too.
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And if that still doesn’t convince you, I’ve genuinely thought about naming my daughter after you one day. If that doesn’t work either, I’d name my son after you too. My daughter would love it, I’d make sure of that. My son would probably hate it with you, so at least you wouldn’t be alone. Lol. I’m just kidding hahaha.
But anyway, I’m not trying to change your mind. That’s not really my goal, because I understand that you may not see it yourself. I think it’s the people who get to know you, the people lucky enough to see who you are, that end up making your name special. And I’m hoping you’ll see your name the way we do. The way the people who care about you do.
I’m hoping someone reminds you of that whenever you forget.
All I’m saying is that when people hear your name, some probably think of someone they love. Some probably think of someone they miss. Others hear something ordinary.
But me?
When I hear it, I think of you.
And that’s why it could never be ordinary to me.
