For Rose.
I saw you again. Not in person, but I saw you still.
I hate you. I hate how your image still stirs feelings and you haven’t even tried to do anything. I still believe it’s unfortunate how we didn’t happen. Oh, the beautiful things we could have done. I can say you’re the first person I have loved passionately. Because of you, I learned to dream, hope and pray for my deepest yearnings. Three years. Thirty-six months. My focus was on you.
I knew it was nothing serious. You weren’t serious.
It was just fun and games.
Plus, the trouble you’d be in if only you’d tried. I never want to remember the beginning for it was just pain after pain after pain. How dreadful I had to face it on my own. Considering the fact that you consider me a part of your past relationships, when we only given a day or two.
The complexity of it all still drives me insane after all these years.
Our time was full of promises. Sky’s the limit when it came to our dreams, yours and mine. I believe in you. Believed in us.
Remember when we promised to come back. To be together again.
My graduation, year 2018.
May it be just my assumption, may it be just my hopeless romantic self.
But I knew it was you.
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The coincidence of friends and similarity of posts, call it whatever but I felt it was you. How I wanted to respond, but couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin what you already had with her. Even I had to find it out from her. As much as my crazy self wanted to, I knew even if I broke you off, I still couldn’t be with you. You still wouldn’t have the guts.
I still want to know how you are. I still want to know how good your life has been. I still hope you still secretly search for me like what you do before. I still hope for so many things.
You’re somebody I wish I could have had.
God, do I hate you!
Even after all this time…
Tell me when, tell me now.
I’ll leave everything just to be with you.
God, do I hate you, even more.
When the time permits and all is possible, may we find our way back to each other. Maybe by then, you’ll fight for me. Maybe by then, we’ll be able to live everything we’ve ever dreamed of. I’ll be holding on to that plane ticket.
But until then, my love for you will be kept in secret.
You always remain my # 1. My beautiful red rose.
“i’ll always be right there”
