Hatake Kakashi. Haruno Sakura. Uzumaki Naruto. Uchiha Sasuke. OC!Hatake Sukea.
Slice of Life. Family. Hurt/Comfort. Mention of Suicide.
Non-beta read. Impulsive writing. Non-native language.
NB: This Kakashi is very much depressed and written in third POV but mostly siding Kakashi, based on RP. This might be triggering to some people. Please read at your own risk.
Of course, celebrating his birthday is not on his plan today. He spend good time awake at night, listening to the rain and just reading his book. It was quiet because Sukea is not there. Sukea would spend the whole day for their birthday but Tsunade being mean (Sukea’s words) for needing them to go on a mission so Sukea took it alone. Kakashi had checked the context. It was not that bad for Sukea to go alone. Well, he could always do anything alone. He’s just worried that Sukea promised to get back soon enough and that mission needs… time. Kakashi had told him to go slow. Sukea might not listen anyway.
After reading and felt that he started to dooze off, he decided to sleep. Even that needs time. He looked at the ceiling and his window for about probably an hour before he fell asleep. Had a funny dream of him and Sukea taking a walk hand in hand like a child. Dream Sukea told him he promised that today is gonna be great for him, just like what Sukea always told him. Kakashi didn’t answer in both scenarios. Kakashi just shrugged off, following Sukea because he trusted his brother. Sukea is trying hard, he can’t just bluntly said he just wants to d- want this day to end just the same, right? Right.
He woke up a few times. At 5, then at 8, last at 11. He heard someone talking, too tired (and lazy) to check who it is. Probably Sukea but that’s too fast? And Sukea doesn’t like talking…
He eventually bring himself to get up. He then wore his yukata cover and slowly walk to get out from his room. The door was slightly opened, and Pakkun is not in his place. Maybe the talking was Pakkun but with who?
His guess was right but he did not expected with whom Pakkun is talking to. He could remember the cheerful, and probably the lazy voice from the others. He actually wanted to get back to bed and sleep but he knows the ambush might be harder- they should’ve known he’s already near so he just walked and let them know from his footsteps. Opened the door and revealed the powerpuffs and, of course, didn’t expect again, with a cake.
“Kakashi-sensei!”
Nah, he definitely didn’t expect but not surprised at all.
“… You guys, it’s still morning.”
Sakura shook her head. “Nope. It’s almost noon. Tsunade-sama told me about your schedule and send her regards. We know you want to sleep in the whole day.”
Kakashi glanced at Sasuke. The latter avoided his glance, as if saying he’s not a part of this while holding the cake.
Naruto, completely ignoring the stare off just being a happy sunshine in this situation. “Well! Sakura-chan told us we will celebrate your birthday at your house, so we brought some food! And of course cake so you can blew some candles!”
Damn. Such a happy sunshine. Kakashi tried to smile but he can’t.
“Shouldn’t the celebration, celebrated at night instead of… noon?”
Naruto about to say something but he just stopped. Probably start to think that Kakashi made sense a bit. Sakura, the clever one in the group just sighed. “We all know your brother will be home for your birthday. He’ll complain to me if we took your dinner time.”
Kakashi sighed. That made sense too.
Sasuke is still quite… unsure with this but still holding the cake without complain. At first. “Are we going to do this here or what?”
That made Kakashi chuckle. “Come on in. Made yourself at home.”
Thankfully, the kids didn’t make it so big as a surprise or a prank. Probably because Sakura is one of the doctors that handle him. Naruto might have some big ideas before Sakura pinched Naruto to go slow. As this is not their first time in his home, he let them go wander around. The house is still clean and neat, thankfully, so he just about to take some plates and utensils as Sakura accompanied him. Hushing and said birthday guy should rest and let them handle everything.
Kakashi can’t protest. She pushed him back to where the boys at. The boys just looked at each other in shame because they are not allowed to do anything and if they do they probably get hit (including Kakashi). Though, Sasuke was making sure the cake is okay and put some of the foods in place. Naruto just happily describe everything to Kakashi and Kakashi just nodded, listening to everything.
It wasn’t that kind of a party. No cone hats, no banners, no confetti. Some simple homemade foods even there’s with with a… quite big cake in the middle. There are words with some frosting and he could see the kids handwritings.
/Happy birthday!/
/We hope your wishes came true!/
/Please don’t stay at home too often!/
/We hope you have a good day today/
/We love you!/
There’s too much. The writings may be a bit small but he could read them. He could also guess whose writings that he just stared at them in silence.
/I will go home soon/
That one is obviously his brother. He won’t ask how and why.
Sakura finally checked everything and sit down. “Well! It’s settled. I’m sure Naruto tells you everything so I won’t gonna repeat stuffs that he has told you,” Naruto’s grin is wider, “we hope you like them!”
There are no gifts. Well, yet? But he could see the kids happily sitting here with him. Ready for a lunch that is too quick or just having a brunch with him. Even Sasuke looked calm and enjoying this. Kakashi looked at the three of them, and then to the foods.
He wondered if he should drink his meds first. He felt… numb. He thought that he should be more happy about this but he can’t. He thought he’s happy but he just sit there without any comment. It feels so weird and he doesn’t know what to do.
He felt a touch and a gentle hold on his hand. He looked at the owner. It was Sakura’s. “We can blow the candle later after we eat, sensei.”
His focus now is on her grasp. He felt calmer. “That sounds nice.”
It was a big feast actually. Naruto had explained that they cooked the foods (with him under Sakura and Sasuke’s guidance) and made sure there are some that is Kakashi’s favorite. They made sure it was warm enough when they get here. The cake we Naruto’s idea, and Sasuke somehow agreed the simplicity yet complicated toppings. Kakashi thought the three of them have some small briefs about what will they do now. The three of them seems so in sync.
Kakashi somehow seeing Obito and Rin there. It hurts to see them.
“How was the food? I made the sausages!”
“You cut them. It looks ugly.”
“Sasuke you also burned the meat!”
Sometimes the bicker is still there. Kakashi wondered if he likes this or just… not. But either way, he ate his food without complain. They tasted good that he wants to eat again. He might overeat, again.
“I thought you’re about to leave on a mission too, sensei.” Sakura expressed her worry, making a sad expression. “I was worried we can’t celebrate your birthday.”
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“Sukea decided to take it by himself. I told him I could join but…”
He doesn’t know how and what kind of power he had that he managed to stop. He can’t tell the kids he just-
“But…? Ouch!”
Naruto looked at Sasuke angrily. Sasuke just eat his fill.
Sakura gets the gist. Of course. This is not her first rodeo. She ignored Naruto and naturally continue ther conversation flow. “I heard him stomping his foot angrily when he’s preparing his work. I feel his anger.”
Kakashi, unconciously following Sakura’s lead for the time. He just nodded and gave a very obvious fake laugh. Nobody complained. “He’s always like that.”
The conversation didn’t die that easily. It was a slow, gentle conversation that Kakashi could hold himself back once he felt too much. Sakura besides him, checking him once in a while. He knows, he just doesn’t show it as ther’s bo energy left in him. Naruto might look naive but he started to think before he acted- he looked like he got the gist of it too that he doesn’t know if he should apologize or not. Sasuke? He just eat calmly, responding Naruto’s bicker and complimented Sakura’s cooking. It feels nice until he keeps seeing Rin and Obito. Their child appearance sitting there beside the kids, looking full of bliss and enjoying the foods. The food in his mouth started to tasted like vomit.
He probably needs to eat his meds. His hands probably shaking that Sakura started to hold his hand. Nobody commented about that either.
“This is really nice! We should make this our routine. Once a week is okay, right?”
It’s actually too much for Kakashi. But he doesn’t reply. Sakura just laughed. “We should do that.”
The cake is actually a tough cookie. It doesn’t melt, but Kakashi guessed they did something to make sure the cake is preserved just enough. Did he already thought about this earlier? “What made you so sure we can eat it once a week? You guys are very busy.”
Naruto actually quite surprised Kakashi answered him. He just giggled. “We have to make a plan first, sensei! If we don’t, it truly won’t happen at all!”
Naruto is right. Kakashi just nodded in defeat.
“Well, we ate already. Now time for the cake!”
Kakashi thought they would just ignore this but… okay. They put the candle gently, and Sasuke used his chakra to turn the flame. It looks like a sad cake to be honest… but Kakashi likes it. He doesn’t hate birthdays that much but he just prefer to treat it as another day. If he felt special, he just eat at a good place and spend a day somewhere. He just happens not to feel… special today. But the cake made it feel special. The kids made it special.
“Sensei! Time to make a wish!”
Kakashi wanted to say no but the looks of pleading guilted him. He decided to close his eyes. He doesn’t actually wish for anything before he opened it back. And he looked at the little flame dancing on the candle.
/I will go home soon./
“I wish my brother arrived safely.”
The kids looked startled. They didn’t think Kakashi would say it out loud. But they were quiet as they looked at him expectantly, waiting for him.
/We hope you have a good day today!/
“I wish we could eat once a week together.”
Kakashi felt impulsive today. The kids were so quiet it scared him somehow.
/ We love you!/
“I wish I could see my kids having their own family one day.”
It felt terrible. It actually is. He can’t think of another wish. His mouth tasted bitter. He wanted to vomit. His fingers are fiddling with each other. He can’t bear to see the kids faces so he just decided to go and blew the candle. It took a few seconds of awkwardness, starting to regret until Naruto clapped his hands. Very furiously.
It was then Kakashi glanced at the blonde. He looked so happy he could bursted. Kakashi hated to see the teary eyes on him. “Happy birthday!!”
Sakura joined the furious activity, even Sasuke (him being politely). They were all hyping him, very loud in the middle of the day. Kakashi doesn’t know if he should join them clapping though not furiously. But both of his hands were held by Naruto and Sakura, probably like a celebration of them swaying his hands around. He can’t bear to look at Sakura’s face as he hear her sniffle.
“We definitely eating once a week! I’ll make sure to clear my schedule!”
Kakashi started to regret this. “No, you don’t have to-”
“Sasuke! You have to clear your schedule!”
Sasuke shrugged, “unless Tsunade told me to go on a mission.”
Kakashi massaged his temple as the kids cheered.
He was about to chuckle that he realized his face felt… clear. He touched his cheek, free from the mask that he just acknowledged the fact that he didn’t put on his mask. He forgot to put it on after they ate. He also forgot the time when he take it off. Did he take them off? Did he put them on at all?
“It’s alright.”
Naruto and Sakura was discussing about what they should do next time. They were already away and put the dirty dishes away and cutting the cake. Sasuke already scooted closer with him, giving him space just enough but not too much that it felt like a hole. Sasuke doesn’t held his hand, just put his on Kakashi’s. Imitating what Sakura done earlier.
“We were surprised at first. But it’s easier to see you bare so we know what to do.”
Does it matter?
Perhaps Kakashi looked sullen that Sasuke finally grasped his hand gently. He truly learned from what he had seen, and probably, only doing this because Sakura can’t. Kakashi doesn’t know what to respond. But knowing how Sakura and Sasuke act…
“Thank you, Kakashi.”
That felt too much that Kakashi covered his face with his free hand. Kakashi doesn’t really want the kids to be worried but he was too late. Sakura’s instinct was too good that both Sakura and Naruto went back to him. Sasuke didn’t let go of his hand as he just covered his face.
/We hope your wishes come true!/
It already came true, far earlier than he thought.
They stayed. That’s more than enough.
