De-Stress by Definition
In my observations of human behavior, I have seen many different approaches to reducing or even eliminating stress. Many can be found in this definition of stress:
“An outcome you care significantly about.”
I know that “proper English” would use “about which”, but I have a reason to use the vernacular.
I use the following thoughts to remove the power of the individual words:
AN — singular article: bury the outcome among many tasks this week, among many today, among many this hour. This makes it less likely that someone will get shot taking more than a quarter second after the light turns green. That one stoplight becomes less important. Getting to work on-time becomes less important. It is insignificant compared to a lifetime. Reframe: “big picture”.
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OUTCOME — end result: nothing is the end. It is a step in a path. Contingency plans make any individual step informational. Once you have bet on a horse, begin to focus on your next bet. It is only one bet. Reframe: “one node in a network of events”; this and future events have contingency plans.
YOU — identity: by inserting identity into the equation, the outcome becomes personal the opposite of personalization is objectivity. There are many things that will affect a person at this moment, today and further into the future. Like the “butterfly effect”, there are an immense number, the majority of which you are not even aware. Conversely, any given event rarely affects only a single person. Focusing on others that may be affected helps to objectify the event. Reframe: “many”.
CARE — assign emotional and mental energy: There is another variation of the above definition of stress that includes a phrase indicating that the person under stress has no control over the outcome. This can be argued as a cause for more stress. I prefer to think of it as a justification for no stress. If the outcome is beyond a person’s control, it is not worth any mental focus and certainly not emotional energy. Reframe: “fait accompli”.
SIGNIFICANTLY — noticeable when compared to peers: assigning significance to the outcome, assigns the perceived negative branch of the uncertainty more energy. However, it is probably not as significant as a word of comfort provided in the past that changed a person’s life and about which the giver has completely forgotten. Similarly, a point of instruction (like how to change a tire or how to be relaxed giving a speech) is also probably as important or more important that a myopic focus on the present. We really aren’t good at identifying what is significant in our lives. Reframe: “grand scheme”.
ABOUT — hanging preposition: also circling around or continuing in near proximity. Perhaps a better word would be focus when considering the source of stress. If a person is compelled to watch and compelled to listen (and touch and smell, if physically present), that is extreme focus. It is unhealthy in all sorts of biological ways (changing blood flow, releasing chemical signals, withholding blood chemicals, etc.). The obvious remedy is to defocus. The other points should provide a means of defocus. If not, then people simply do something that is mundane, familiar, and requires focus. Reframe: “distraction”.
See also my abbreviated video here.
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