Quantified Douche
I’m a Lifehacker.
Everything I do, I wonder, “How can I do this better?”
But I’ve always been hesitant to use the term.
“What? Life’s not good enough for you you have to tweak it?”
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See, I grew up in Toronto, our douche detectors are really strong. Canada’s mildly socialist, so it’s natural to inform on others. And the constant drive for improvement reeks of American capitalism.
But then I realized that if I have to define all this ridiculous stuff I do, explain why I like commuter pants with their practical extra tabs and reinforcements or para-cord bracelets, or have twist tie wrapped around my headphones, I was going to need a name.
And I just can’t think of a more efficient one than the one everyone already knows and uses.
Nothing fits better or is shorter than the three syllable word, Lifehacker.
Well, except maybe douche.
