Bad news from home (Notes for my Darling: 02)
My love, I feel like dying. Things happen at home. Bad things. and I don’t know how to bring it up to you. I don’t know how to tell you. There’s no way I could bring you bad news when those sparkling eyes of yours look at me as if everything in this world were a miracle.
But I feel like I’m going to die.
The times when I’m not with you feel like time is moving slowly, like a snail. And I’m drowning in my own thoughts — oscillating between feeling empty and falling asleep to escape reality. I hate those moments.
I want to be with you all the time.
Because with you, everything feels like heaven. I’m just held, kissed, and loved. And for a moment, I’m like I’m drowning in blissful ecstasy. It’s like I’m in a different world. A world with you.
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A world where we just cuddle on the floor on super hot days, all covered in sweat. Or when we’re checking out cute stuff in a store, and I sneak in a kiss without anyone noticing. And when you hold my hand, caressing it with your fingers. Also those late-night rides when I could hug you from behind whenever I wanted.
A different world.
A world that feels like a dream in this hellish life of mine.
And I don’t want to taint all of that with bad news. With what’s flawed and broken about me. I want to be that same paradise for you. But I just can’t.
Live a long and happy life for me, my love.
021126.
