Grieve.

Caine Chana.

I landed safely in Noir City. Breathing in the air of Noir City that I missed so much, I smiled.

Ahh…

Finally, I can return…

It’s been over three years since I left the country to continue my medical education and undergo treatment. My aging body, combined with the injuries I sustained during the TNF’s active era, left me weak and ill, requiring years of treatment. In between treatments, I also continued my medical education.

I wanted to better understand my own body, so I decided to become a doctor after the TNF’s illegal activities were officially halted.

It took me quite a while to make the decision to become a doctor. During that time, I watched the children adapt to their new lives.

One by one, they found the jobs and lives they wanted. Becoming a doctor, a police officer, opening a restaurant… And of course, I know some who didn’t quit the dark world completely. Like Rion…

But with this freedom, at least they can live the lives they want now. Including me.

And after living away from my family for over three years, I’m back.

I reached for my phone and called a taxi to take me home.

The house I’d left so long ago.

My house with Rion and some of the TNF kids.

The one we called The Wine House.

But as soon as I arrived at the wine house, I could feel the heavy atmosphere there. The house was very quiet. It seemed like no one was there, but I saw Rion’s car in the garage. So, most likely, that purple-haired man was home.

But usually, Key, Echi, or Krow would be home if Rion was here. Was Rion alone?

For some reason, I felt uneasy. Because even though I didn’t see anyone, the atmosphere felt very heavy. And the smell of alcohol permeated the entire house.

Rion drinking?

“…Rion?” I called out as I entered the living room. It was clear seeing several bottles of red wine scattered across the floor, Rion had been drinking.

My heart suddenly pounded. Rion wouldn’t normally drink that much, especially if alone.

A bad feeling came over me. No matter how hard I tried to shake it, it wouldn’t go away. Because I know Rion very well, and that purple-haired man wouldn’t drink this much alone unless there was a major problem…

I immediately searched everywhere for Rion. Room, the office, bathroom, pool…

“Rion!” I shouted. But I couldn’t find him anywhere.

Something was strange… His car was clearly in the garage…

Wait a minute…

My feet stepped toward the door in the corner of the room. As soon as I opened the door to the basement, a strong smell of alcohol immediately hit my nose, making me a little dizzy. My heart beat faster. I realized something was seriously wrong here.

Rion had locked himself in the basement with a drink.

Suddenly, I’m afraid. What bad news would greet me…

Slowly but surely, I descended the stairs to the basement. I continued down until I entered the wine cellar, my steps faltering slightly as I approached another door at the end of the room. It was the deepest room in the wine house.

The room Rion always used when he was depressed.

I remember putting two single beds in that room on purpose because Rion sometimes locked himself there when he was depressed. So I could be with him if something upset him.

Hesitantly, I reached for the door handle, faintly hoping Rion wasn’t there.

“Rion?” I called softly as I opened the door.

The dim room greeted me, the only light coming from a small nightlight in the corner. Clearly, the occupant of this room desperately wanted to be alone.

And sure enough, I found Rion sitting on the floor between the two beds. His head was buried in his folded arms, propped up on his knees, while several empty bottles of alcohol lay scattered around him. Rion sat unmoving even as I entered and approached him slowly.

“Rion… Rion, can you see me?” I said, trying to be as gentle as possible.

Rion looked completely disheveled. His very short hair was messy and greasy. His skin looked pale. I didn’t know how long he had been here.

Rion still didn’t move, so I positioned myself next to him and nudged his arm a little.

“Yon…” I called again. This time I got a response.

Rion lifted his head, his eyes droopy, puffy, and his tired face clearly visible. His gaze met mine, blank as if soulless.

“…Caine…” he whispered.

My heart sank. His appearance… I’d never seen him this devastated.

I cupped his cheeks, gazing deeply into his face. Gently rubbing his puffy eyes. Rion surrendered, accepting my touch as he closed his eyes.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked as gently as possible. “Do you want to tell me?”

His muscular body trembled. His pale lips parted but then closed again. His purple eyes, which usually radiated determination, now looked fragile. Watery. Rion buried his face in my embrace. Tight. A soft sob escaped his lips.

I bit my lip, about to cry too. My heart filled with anticipation, because whatever had made Rion this devastated… would surely destroy me too.

“…Caine…” Rion’s voice was soft, his sobs muffled in my chest. “…I… don’t know what to do…”

I gently stroked his greasy hair, his trembling back.

“Shhh… I’m here. You can tell me what’s wrong, I’m ready…”

There was a moment of silence, Rion’s hug tightened.

My heart pounded faster. I was anxious, afraid of the news I was about to receive.

“…Rakean and Thea…”

My body tensed at the sound of those two names. But I remained silent, waiting for Rion to finish.

“Their child… was stillborn, Caine.” Rion’s voice was hoarse, and the sobs came again.

My heart sank again. Suddenly my body went limp, my head went blank, but thanks to Rion still holding me, I didn’t fall. My heart ached, it hurt so much to hear that.

Rakean and Thea’s child…

The child who should have been my second grandchild after Noera…

I remembered a few months ago they called to tell me Thea’s IVF was successful. And they were also happy to announce Thea’s pregnancy.

Tears fell from my cheeks. I bit my lip to hold back a sob. This time I hugged Rion back, burying my face in his neck. Trying to hold back the tears. I can’t waver now…

Rion is this devastated, I can’t waver in front of him.

I took a deep breath. “…who — -” my voice choked, tears gathering in my eyes again. But I held myself back with all my might. “ — -what’s his name?”

“King Theo…”

“…I… I’m sure…King is in a better place.” My voice cracked. I could barely hold back my sobs.

Rion tightened his hug. “…I — I didn’t know what to say when Kean told me his child died. It felt… it felt like I — “

“Shh… I know.” I stopped him. Now Rion was sobbing loudly into my chest. Just imagining it made my world spin. I knew how devastated Rion was.

Losing a family member, while Rion had to be strong because Kean and Thea were undoubtedly the ones who were most devastated. I’m sure Rion only broke down after comforting and strengthening Kean and Thea. I understand that, because that’s what I’m doing right now.

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I was shocked and saddened to hear this news. But I also had to be strong for Rion. I also had to be strong for Kean and Thea.

“I… I’m devastated, Caine… I can’t protect our family…”

“Hush, don’t say that. You’ve tried your best to protect all of us all this time…”

“You — you don’t understand… This isn’t just about King, Caine…”

I frowned, confused. I broke the hug slightly to look at Rion’s wet face. The pain was palpable in his once-firm purple eyes. Deep sorrow was etched into his eyes. I don’t understand, if it’s not just about Kean and Thea’s child… Is there other news I haven’t heard?

Even worse news than that?

As if seeing my confusion, Rion closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as if to steel himself. It seemed he was trying not to sob again.

Rion held both my hands. He looked down, “Mia… Mia too… is gone.”

My breath hitched, suddenly dizzy. Rion immediately held my suddenly unsteady body. This time I couldn’t hold myself back. My mind went blank again, as if the whole world had disappeared and I was falling into a limitless black world.

Mia…

My youngest child…

Before I realized it, my face was flooded with tears. And Rion pulled me into his embrace. This time we both cried together.

Mia… King…

Rakean and Thea…

Oh God…

Why is this happening?

Why is this happening, God?

I might have been able to stay strong if this was only about Rakean and Thea’s child. I was sad that King couldn’t see the world, but that sadness was only limited to regret for not being able to see King.

But Mia…?

Mia, my child…

Even though she’s not my biological child, she’s my youngest in this family.

Why did this happen, God…

I began to regret my choice to leave all this time. The last time I saw Mia was long before I left. Mia often went abroad for medical treatment; she did have a pre-existing illness. But I never imagined… That would be the last time I’d see her.

Mia…

“Sob… Mia…” I cried. “Yon… Mia — Mia, what’s wrong?”

Rion didn’t answer, just hugged me tighter.

We spent a long time crying and comforting each other. Too devastated to do anything else.

The next day, though it was difficult, I managed to persuade Rion to come out of the basement. Rion, whose body has weakened after shutting himself up only with alcohol for several days, immediately collapsed on the bed after I forced him to eat and shower. He fell into a deep sleep.

My heart was still heavy, but I tried to be strong. It can’t be like this… We can’t continue to wallow in grief.

Rion didn’t answer when I asked about Mia. And I felt like I needed to hear the full story about Kean and Thea from them themselves. So I didn’t ask Rion for further explanation; he was still depressed.

After making sure Rion was sleeping peacefully in his room, I leaned against his door. I looked up and closed my eyes. I tried to process the situation. Because honestly, this was very sudden. I came home hoping to see my family, relieve my longing with joy, and rejoin them.

Not like this.

I didn’t expect to receive two bad news at once upon arriving. Plus, Rion’s condition…

I called the other kids, who were apparently preparing to go abroad to visit Mia’s grave. They were shocked to hear I’d have returned, and we cried together as Selia, Key, Riji, Ringo, and Kevin explained the circumstances around Rakean and Thea’s baby loss and Mia’s death.

I was devastated, but seeing the other kids supporting each other, I couldn’t help but try to be strong.

Selia assured me that Mia’s sacrifice was her own decision, without any coercion from anyone. So I tried to understand, even though the pain and grief still clung to my chest.

The kids also invited me to visit Mia’s grave, but I couldn’t leave Rion. Rion’s current condition meant he couldn’t leave or be left alone. I was afraid he’d just lock himself in the basement again. So I sent the kids off with only a few words of greeting for Mia… and Ocel, the girl who was said to be Mia’s older sister.

I promised that later, when things got better, Rion and I would come.

“I’m grateful that Mami is home… Papi can’t do anything without Mami…” Selia said before leaving. “…please take care of Papi, Mih…”

I nodded. “Sure.”

And finally, the wine house is quiet again.

I decided to get up and walk to Rion’s room. As soon as I opened the door, I saw that Rion was still asleep.

I sat beside the bed, staring at his face. My hands moved to smooth his hair. Thankfully, after eating and bathing, he looked much better than before. Although his face still pale and puffy.

“…”

I got down to the floor and sat down, resting my head on the edge of the bed. My feelings were still mixed, but one thing was for sure: I had to be strong. They say God never gives a trial that His servants can’t bear, so I’m sure we can get through this together.

King… I’m sorry this grandfather hasn’t had a chance to see you. He promises… He’ll come and play with you often in the future. And you’re a little angel, your parents’ guardian. Please see us over and pray for your parents from there, okay, child…

And Mia… Mami apologizes too, for not paying attention to you all this time. Mami been too busy with my own life…

I opened my phone and saw many unanswered messages from the kids. After all, for the past few days I’ve been busy preparing to return to Noir City. As I scrolled down, I froze when I saw Mia’s name there.

Mia had sent me several messages that I hadn’t had a chance to read or reply to.

Tears welled up in my eyes again, and I tried my best to hold back my sobs, not wanting to wake Rion, who had finally fallen asleep. With trembling hands, I opened Mia’s message.

Mamiieehhh~

Mamii, how are you?

Mamii, Mia is going now.

Mia is going to meet someone first. When everythings done, I’ll definitely come home.

Mia misses Mami.

take care, mamiii, don’t forget to mayah-mayahh

Mia gonna tell you everything later, so wait for mee, okayy

Ataupuuu mamii ^^

I bit my lip, tears already streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t hold back my tears, and ended up sobbing silently.

I should have checked my phone as best I could. I shouldn’t have let Mia’s message go unread for so long…

My heart ached.

I felt like a failure.

Mia called me Mami, but I couldn’t be a good Mami to her.

Mia… I’m sorry…

I buried my face between my legs, trying to hold back my cries so Rion wouldn’t wake up.

Mia, you’ll always be my girl. Even though you’re no longer here with me, your place will never be replaced…

Rest well in peace, Mia… My beloved youngest child…

Mia’s last chat