How Do I Want to Show Up Today?: Sticky Note Wisdom
by Janet D. Johnson
I admit it. I’m a sucker for self-help. I’m also a snob about it. You won’t catch me reading celebrity bestsellers or buying Goop, and spare me the blithe, fix-it types who provide easy answers and empty mantras. But give me writers, philosophers, and other intelligent malcontents, and I’ll be signing up for their Substack newsletter, listening to their podcasts, or ordering their books from the library or from Bookshop.org. I write down resonant quotes on sticky notes and tape them on my desk lamp, windowsill, printer, and any other available surface at my desk.
It’s good to have these notes around when work turns exasperating or I just need a lift, except when they become too numerous. Using my keen executive functioning skills, I developed a complex organizational system that involves taking down the older ones and putting them in a labeled envelope. These sticky notes are like footprints on the path of the year. They capture momentary insights and serve as reminders of what was important to me at that point in time.
Here are some samples from the 2024 envelope.
January
1/23: “I’d rather look at the mountains”
My dharma book group consists of people who are all wiser and many who are older than me, so we talk a lot about death and dying. Betty lives by herself in a beautiful remote area in the Southwest which doesn’t have a medical facility nearby. In one of our group conversations, she mentioned that some family members had urged her to move closer to a city in case she needed help. She said she’d rather “look at the mountains.” I thought this was a great way to name what she valued: being near natural beauty for however many days, months, or years she has left. I have been contemplating what it means for me to look at the mountains instead of grasping for emotional or physical safety.
August
“Everything happens for (not to) me. Everything happens for you too.” (Janet)
“When you put yourself in the center, you get punched from both sides.” (Serena)
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“The triggers are coming from inside the house.” (Bob)
All of these come from my best week of 2024: songwriting camp, facilitated by Jimmie Dale Gilmore at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies. He and his wife Janet, a Buddhist teacher, invited me into their circle when I first attended camp in 2021 and I have felt held and beloved in that community ever since. Janet’s quote is a wakeup call about perceptions and responses. Saying that events happen for us instead of to us is a good way to reframe ourselves as agents instead of victims. That made me think about taking more responsibility for my actions and reactions instead of blaming others. Serena found herself between two songwriters pulling in opposite directions during their co-writing process. I, too, put myself in the middle of many situations, mainly to preserve peace, but also because I often see both sides. Neutrality isn’t always the healthiest place to be, however, as Serena points out. Bob realized that his reactivity to a specific situation, not the situation itself, was the problem. That also resonated with me. My triggers are so deeply embedded that I often don’t recognize I’m reacting from them instead of the current issue. This keeps me from experiencing the reality of impermanence and interconnectedness. I can’t change who is elected, whether my basement floods, or the various impacts of human greed and selfishness. My friends’ bits of wisdom, based on real situations that I witnessed in one week of songwriting camp, are guideposts to understanding how being awake and aware can help me respond to challenges with agency and empathy instead of reactivity.
September
9/18: How do I want to show up today?
Back at school, I attended a two-day workshop on the Dialogic Classroom from Essential Partners. We learned how to address controversial issues in our classrooms using deep listening and dialogue. At the end of the first day, the facilitators asked us, “How do you want to show up (tomorrow)?” and had us write our intention on a sticky note so we would have it the next day. I don’t remember what I wrote, but their question stuck with me. Since then, I frequently ask that question of myself, of my college students, and of my qigong students. How do I want to show up on a given day, in a given class, meeting, or potentially difficult conversation? I usually answer with just a couple of words and it changes according to context. It gives me structure and intention, and provides a ground within the groundlessness of the unknown. It’s the only one left from 2024 that is still on my desk.
November/December
11/20: I don’t need to hold anyone up. (me)
11/25: No complaints. (me)
While I am still recovering from the results of the presidential election, I came to some conclusions about how I want to show up in the world. I love the double entendre of holding up: am I holding up someone in an uplifting way or am I holding them up from doing their own work? I need to respect others enough to let them have their own journeys; and I also need to recognize when it’s time to step in and support them. As a teacher (and partner, friend, sister, etc.), that line is not always clear, but at least I am asking the question.
The “no complaints” comes from a sense of gratitude for this precious human life. Aging will do that to you! I can turn outward and appreciate raindrops suspended from tree branches or a particularly moving piece of art or performance, or I can turn inward and bear witness to my history and the people I love and who love me, past and present.
For 2025, my overall mantra is contained in these three words: wisdom.harmony.humor. What are your words and mantras? Let me know in the comments below.
Janet D. Johnson is a professor of English education at Rhode Island College. She also serves as the Site Director for the Rhode Island Writing Project (RIWP). Her research interests include finding ways to incorporate critical contemplative pedagogy in K-16 educational spaces. In keeping with these pursuits, she teaches yoga/qigong classes and has led writing workshops for teachers and community members across Rhode Island.
