Seven Thousand Miles for Love
Working/living in the Middle East as a single Black Female is not for the weary. I came in search of something “more” than I had in Florida. I quickly found other people like me in search of the same. Although everyone else's more was a bit different; some called it love, some called it peace, some still called it in search of self. No matter the name, most people coming to the Middle East were searching for something that they could not get where they were.
I met Angela at a hospital in the Middle East. I was five years in, Angela was new. News of new people coming in spread quickly inthe closed community. I heard about a new person from my friend, Angie. Angie and I had met via a dear friend, Dr. Freda, who thought we would be good support for each other. The new person, a Nurse Manager, was from the US, somewhere in the South. People said she sounded like me. I had not yet met her.
One day after my morning walk, I encountered the “new person” in the hallway of my building. After giving the “Black person nod” for “Hey how ya doing” as we passed in the hall, I turned and said:
“Hi, you’re new here?”
“I am”.
Her response: the North Carolina variety of rich Southern accent. OHHH… I heard that d-r-a-w-l in the vowels (long and melodic). Easily recognizable North Carolinian for me!
“Where are you from?”
“North Carolina”: the “–lina” flat and drawn out. That drawl was so sweet — I knew it; I spoke it!!
“Me too!!” “Where in NC?”
“Greensboro” — shock!
I am from Greensboro too!!! Greensboro: known for its part of history for the sit-ins at the Woolworth Lunch counter in the 1960’s, that same Greensboro; home of the NC Agricultural and Technical (NCA&T) University an historic HBCU (Historically Black College/Univeristy).
Without thinking, I said “Get the heck outta here. Greensboro??!!” She said she “Yes indeed”. A person from my hometown! What were the odds? Sheer elation — meeting a Black Girl from Greensboro, NC in a Middle Eastern country! We were beaming. A bond had been made and it wa about to get deeper as time pressed on.
I mentioned that I lived on the 8th floor of the building; she did too. Angela was down the hall from me. It was easy to regularly visit and chat.
One day Angela came over to my apartment. We were talking about growing up in Greensboro. Angela said “… life on Lutheran Street was….” I did not even hear the rest of her comment. When she said Lutheran Street, time stopped for me. Years ago, my Dad, the consummate entrepreneur, had bought a house on Lutheran Street to rent out. I couldn’t recall the address. I told Angela, this and she was incredulous that there was another link that bound us.
My brother; was that family member who remembered phone numbers, addresses, etc. from long ago. I messaged him: “The number of the Lutheran Street house??” He messaged back– “2107”. My Dad’s house and Angela’s house was a few doors from one another. We had never met; now meeting 7000 miles from North Carolina; we had a genuine “SisterBond”.
During our chat Angela asked me, “How did you get to Saudi? “I was seeking peace” I said. I was working at a univeristy in Tampa, member of great church, active with the university teams, but I had a feeling of being pulled in many directions. I had an opportunity to return to the Middle East. I took it. Angela told me she needed to start fresh — I reassured her, almost all expats in the Middle East were looking for a fresh start or something; that was the bond of the people here.
The conversation turned to relationships; past, and future. I mentioned dating outside of my race. Angela was inquisitive. ALL kinds of questions came. “I never dated outside my race; it was not on my radar” she said.
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Angela asked about the differences between dating Black versus White men. It was hard for me to discern the differences. My long-term relationships had been with White guys. I had dated several Black guys, too. The differences, for me, boiled down to attentiveness. White men, for me, were more attentive to my needs for whatever reason. I enjoyed that pleasure. I had not gotten the same amount of attention from Black men. It was not a put down to Black men and Angela did not interpret it that way. The love language of a Black Man versus a White Man was different to me; there seemed to be an uncanny nature in the White guy that was “anticipatory” — it was hard to explain — but Angela seemed to be able to grasp what I was saying.
She asked about the differences in sex. I told her that would depend on what you both agreed would bring you each pleasure.” — with a wink. She pondered my loaded response. We were thinking the same thing. We giggled like kindergarteners and later roared in laughter.
I told Angela that if she were open to all types of possibilities, it would only take proximity and the right person for a relationship with whomever to blossom. We both agreed and didn’t think about the depth of that comment.
Months later, there was an expat event. This was an opportunity to meet new people and see friends. I was going with my circle of friends from the hospital and Angela was going with her circle of friends from the Nursing sector. We’d have a good time; meeting/seeing other expats, laughing, dancing and chatting. These events were welcomed in a Middle Eastern country with very little to do except work and eat.
The day of the event, Iheard a loud banging at my door — it could be none other than Angela. Opening the door, there stood my beautiful Black friend dressed in a ruby red, lacy, front plunging dress that was half zipped — “Zip me up” she said. I tried to zip her; it was tight. “Suck in some” I said. It zipped. Turning around, it looked as if the dress was tailor made for Angela’s five-foot three petite frame — she was utterly stunning. Shimming down the hall back to her apartment, I would see her at the event.
At the event, I was sitting with my friends. Tara, our connection for events, came in with a group of guys. They had just arrived in the Middle East. In the introductions, one of the guys, Ben, a cute, Caucasian helicopter pilot, said his mom lived in NC — fascinating! Ben was from Montana. After small talk — the guys and Tara were off to the next table which was Angela’s circle of friends.
Upon meeting Angela, Ben liked how she looked. I always say he was smitten. He pulled up a chair beside Angela and chatted her up the entire evening. Angela said Ben was very talkative and attentive. He was polite and offered to get her food from the buffet. Unbeknownst to Angela, Ben was taking mental notes on what Angela ate, said, did — he was into her. Angela later told me she was not sure about Ben but liked the attention. She thought it strange that he touched her thigh numerous times while talking to her. She dismissed Ben’s behavior as an apparent “innocent idiosyncrasy”. In Ben’s head he was trying to determine if Angela was interested and if so, he would “stake claim” on my beautiful Black friend. I saw Ben sitting rather close to Angela. I turned around; and gave a smile that said “Gurl… you aaiight?” Angela looked at me with the Black Mamma look like: “Heffa, turn around; mind yo’ bizznezz”. I chuckled and kept turning around to get a reaction from Angela! It was hilarious!
The event was soon over; we went our separate ways. I called Angela within the next few days. Ben had asked Angela over for lunch on the weekend. Angela accepted. A tidbit nervous, I told her to just enjoy the moment.
When Angela arrived at Ben’s flat, he had some Coca Cola waiting for her. At the event Ben remembered Angela drank Coke with a lot of ice and prepared that for her. Fresh fruit was prepared. Ben remembered Angela ate lots of fruit at the event. One fruit in particular made Ben nervous about serving — yep… watermelon! He didn’t want to be offensive — so he presented it on a separate plate: “I’m not racist, but watermelon (and salt) is your favorite?” — she laughed. That evening was sweet according to Angela.
Side note: Angela won’t admit it, but I believe in THAT watermelon moment, she fell in love with Ben!!
Angela came over later to tell me details about the date. She said conversing with Ben was good and easy. Ben was nice, attentive and cute. He seemed to enjoy doing things for her. Angela wasn’t accustomed to that kind of attention; and loved it. She was open to the possibilities.
The next weekend and each weekend thereafter, Angela and Ben enjoyed time together. They both tell me that they just flowed together. It was a nice shared feeling.
Months passed. Angela and Ben were now a “couple” — if you saw one, you would see the other. Whispers in the expat group began about them being “serious”. Angela said she believed Ben loved her and that she might love him too.
WOW!!! — This Gurl done travelled 7000 miles and done met her partner! I couldn’t have been happier. They were a stunning couple. I asked Angela if she would consider marrying Ben. She said she always wanted to be married and would consider it!
Six months after meeting, Ben and Angela traveled to N.C. together to meet Angela’s family and Ben’s mother. Everyone saw an utterly happy and beautiful couple. They were in love and it was obvious to everyone who spent time with them.
Ben and Angela loved to travel together. Growing up in Montana, Ben loves the outdoors, and Angela enjoys nature as well. They planned a trip to Petra, Jordan a year after meeting each other. There, Ben proposed in front of the Treasury (Ben had asked Angela’s daughter, Shadia, the most important person in her life, for permission). A guide videoed the event — Angela said “YES” with tears flowing down her cheeks — they kissed and embraced and have been living a golden life ever since.
Angela and Ben are one of the couples that people aspire to mimic. The level of love, care, respect and consideration that is reciprocated between the two of them is what you find in romance novels.
They are now married and they reside in Texas. I am still in the Middle East; we stay in touch often. Angela is a Social Media Influencer (she has 150K followers on YouTube) and Ben is the Production and Management behind all of her platforms; when he’s not busy insuring helicopter companies for safety. They are a beautifully, fabulous couple/team. Their relationship is what you can only hope to have at least once in a lifetime. Traveling thousands of miles for love may be what’s needed to get your “more” — I’m just saying!
