Cast Iron
In 2004 I got a greatest hits album of The Who, specifically “My Generation: The Greatest Hits”, and it changed my my life. Mostly because the album jacket but also because I had a poster of Roger Daltrey. Fast forward to about 2015, post- divorce and trying to stay afloat in Community College, I rediscover Roger Daltrey, along with Idris Elba, and rediscovering the now late Tim Curry.
Now, the three celebrities I mention are not related to anything special, they did not collaboration work that I know of, however, they were instrumental to me on a personal level.
I came out as Pan to my parents in 2015, at the age of 25. My dad blew it off with a meh, which was his way of saying “and water is wet, tell me something I don’t already know”. My mother was a little harder to catch on, as it were. Not that it was disapproval from her, just that she did not have the amount of exposure to the world as myself or my dad. She grew up in a family and a time where you farmed or worked a series of blue collar jobs to survive. However, she has come around and while doesn’t exactly fully understand, she still does what every mother does, and supports where she can.
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So, I am a queer veteran (its easier than trying to explain what pan-sexuality is then having to hear “oh so you’re bi?”) what now? Well, that was kind of a process. I had been shunned without realizing it, from a community that was still trying to figure itself out. As my dad was a veteran himself, he was of the same mind, who cares about your sexuality, are you a good person is the question. But, My Generation of trooper had not quite gotten that far in their growth, which lead me to leave the veteran community for about eight years. This also was due in part to becoming an alcoholic and having to figure the rest of my life out.
Fast Forward to today, sober, still queer, and back in the community. The community still has some issues with identities but, it has gotten better. The VFW in June posted a pride month post that several folks had some spicy feelings over the idea that these two things are not mutually exclusive of each other. Which incidentally why I stopped reading the forum comments on social media pages.
Now I know I don’t present as part of the LGBTQIAA+ community but, having an ability to be fully myself without having to mask and code switch between the two is a bit freeing. I said every bit of that because, I hope someone reading this can take from it that, in the strangest of places you can find communities. Those communities change, flex, ebb, flow, and over time evolve. Not all the time, and it takes time, but being unapologetically who you are no matter the surround.
