Solicitude
My boots slowly pace across the forest floor, a gentle rain splashes on the trees overhead and a soft mist settles upon my shoulders. No real destination in mind...
This hike might help, after all, it’s the first thing that’s sounded alright in a long time. Usually, I psych myself out of doing something before I even have the chance to try, or I let my lack of motivation get the better of me and I end up doing nothing at all.
Disembodied voices howl from all directions, each one angrily yelling their own corrections.
Addressing every one of my infections, as expected, there are many objections.
Many rejections,
The smoke clears, no selections.
I use my sleeve to wipe the moisture on my face and open my pack to grab a bottle of water.
“Traced your shadow with my shoe, Empty outline changed my view, Now all of me thinks less of you…”
I hear the voices, it starts as a mutter, then they grow into a roar,
They mock my choices, mock my stutter, rocked to my core.
Twiddle my thumbs and stare,
Say something, you have to care.
The silence marks the final nail in the coffin of a man who doesn’t have a clue.
All of me really does think less of you.
Right foot in front of the left. I’m almost at the top to boot. The trees are sparse up here, the rain feels as if it’s falling harder than it was before. Just listen to that rain, like static.
The voices yell.
Impossible to quell.
They begin to tell.
You begin to dwell.
Hell.
The once pleasant soft loamy soil of the forest is now replaced by mud and jagged stone. My strength is waning and the rain is dripping down my face.
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No matter the task, I won’t complete,
I may get close, but inevitably, I’ll be beat.
I know I lack even a single feat.
I know I’m prone to retreat,
But I’ve a goal to meet.
Just a little bit further. Old worn stone steps, smoothed from use, guide the way.
Neither do the voices, they claim.
They say they’ll never tame,
They say I’ll stay the same.
For the love of god, get out of my head!
The voices slowly change, they sound different.
Not so cold, they feel warm, is that encouragement?
Just a few more steps, I’m actually almost there.
Angry shouts are now enthusiastic
Careful now, You might feel ecstatic
Not empty and bombastic
This view-
Woah, the view-
Is
Actually
Fantastic.
Who knew.
