Inside Out
A Feel Good Stoner Comedy Short
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It was morning and the day was mine. No plans, no pressing responsibilities, and no company. Just me, Reign, and sixteen hours of whatever the hell we felt like doing, and what I felt like doing was a daybreaker.
What's a daybreaker? My friend, a daybreaker is a marble sized dab of high quality shatter delivered from an electronic rig at precisely 275 degrees at 7am.
In other words, it's exactly what it sounds like, and for a good hour afterward that's exactly what it did.
It was at that point that I said to myself, "Self, we're hungry. A burrito is the way and the truth!"
I grabbed a frozen burrito from the ice box. You know the ones, 99¢ at pretty much any store with a freezer. Set the timer for three minutes and hit start.
As the microwave started to hum its one-note tune, I looked down into the pleading eyes of a very good girl who still hadn't been let out.
"Let's go girl." Her immediate enthusiasm was contagious. It's hard to watch a dog happily prance and not have it rub off on your mood. Dogs are a special kind of magic.
So was being outside in summer. The warm feeling of the sun's glow on your face. Watching Reign put everything she has into a half-dozen full-speed laps around the yard, before suddenly stopping to do her business. The birds and noisy bugs added to the feeling of summer perfection. I took it all in and realized I was hungry. I thought, "Self, we deserve an omelette!"
I relocated to the kitchen and went about furiously beating a dollop of sour cream into three large eggs, while the pan reached the low end of medium heat. Buttered the pan and poured in the mix. As I put down a thick layer of cheese, my microwave beeped.
The burrito!! I had completely forgotten about it. That's when The Universe spoke.
PUT THE BURRITO IN THE OMELETTE
Well, who am I to disobey The Universe? Into the omelette it went.
It was DELICIOUS! Salty, fatty, spicy, carby awesomeness wrapped in a blanket of fluffy protein. I finished the ambrosia, thanked The Universe for the inspiration, and was putting my dishes away when the doorbell rang. It was the mailman. He needed a signature. I looked at him. He looked at me. That's when I realized I still hadn't put on pants.
