Stuttering
I can’t even stutter in the right way. When I try, my speech becomes too eloquent, almost exaggerated.
Saturday morning. Another cup of coffee. (I skipped the milk this time. Soon, I’ll sip my coffee once more.) Soon, I’ll continue our argument about the value of stuttering in art and in life. About my stuttering.
The outside light is gray. The grass has turned yellow in most areas. Ironically, it’s the undesirable weed that’s solving the problem. It stays green despite the little rain. It knows how to maintain its deep green and vitality. The grass behind the house almost swallows it. It reaches the height of a man. When the dog runs and barks there, he disappears completely; a ghost causes the grass to sway. A green meadow studded with yellow mustards. A vibrant, buzzing life that makes you want to join in.
I have a firm belief in stuttering and stammering. As a state characterized by learning new skills. When we step out of our comfort zone, we grow. We define who we are, especially in places that make us feel alive. In those places where I stepped outside of myself, I stuttered and stumbled. I recognize it, the same state of removing defenses, of true learning, of change. It comes through the stuttering that takes over me in those moments. (Here is virgin land; here I don’t know the laws; here I am a child again.) Moses — the one who led Israel to a new homeland — was a great, heavy person who had a stutter in his mouth and tongue. When I see a student’s drawing that appears spotless, or when I hear a patient describe an emotion with such ease, I know he’s not creating something new. He’s recreating himself. I know those too-perfect lines. They embrace themselves. They have no chance to go out and touch something new. I prefer those who reinvent the line. It’s as if no lines existed before this moment. They seem to not know how to hold a pencil. They fall onto the page, a painful fall.
Picasso said that, at 16, he painted like Raphael. But it took a lifetime to learn to paint like a child. Art, including painting, drawing, sculpture, and photography, transforms our experience of reality. Children trust teachers and therapists. So, they are willing to be vulnerable and stutter alongside them.
True stuttering is one of the cruelest and least understood of illnesses and can become a kind of disability, a betrayal of the body. Stuttering is not a matter of choice. I use stuttering here as an imametaphor and I know how difficult it is to describe the agony and pain of someone who has to live with a stutter. “When you stutter, you lose confidence that the world actually exists. And what’s more, when you stutter, you lose confidence that you exist,” says Yochai Atria in the wonderful article “My Tongue, Good and Treacherous.”
Stuttering affects 1 percent of adults and 4 percent of children. Eighty percent are male. It is more common among left-handed people. This is especially true for those forced to write with their right hand. Stuttering victims include Moses, Aristotle, Virgil, Darwin, Carroll, and Churchill in his youth. Also, Henry James, John Updike, Marilyn Monroe, and King George VI.
No one knows what triggers stuttering. Stutterers stumble on different letters and words at different places in a sentence. For many, stuttering disappears when they sing, speak a foreign language, or engage in self-dialogue and talk to themselves. Most stutterers recover by their teens, with women achieving recovery with greater ease than men. Speech therapy can help most stutterers. A kind and patient approach also helps.
Stuttering as Trauma and Growth from Trauma
Stuttering is a speech disorder. It disrupts the flow of speech. Many experts have long linked it to challenges. Viewing stuttering requires a multidimensional perspective. Research and anecdotes are revealing the benefits of this daunting condition. Stuttering can be a trauma. Like any trauma, it can cause growth in some people. Stuttering hinders communication. But it can also promote growth. It can build resilience and self-awareness.
Recent research shows that the disorder’s impact is deeper than it seems. It causes high anxiety and other psychosocial effects in those who stutter. The stuttering disorder affects the individual and their family. This includes siblings, parents, and partners. These include social issues, low self-esteem, and anxiety about stuttering. They also include poor communication in daily situations. They result in a low quality of life.
Trauma leaves scars. Being ‘different’ or having others consider you as such always leaves an imprint on people. Many studies show that children who stutter are at a higher risk of bullying, social exclusion, and low self-esteem. Such traumatic experiences leave their scars. For adults who stutter or have recovered, early rejections and wounds shape their self-view. They see the world through that lens.
Being different — the “black sheep” of the family.
People who stutter have a genetic predisposition to this or other speech impairments. Children of stuttering parents better understand their condition and how to cope.
Yet, for parents who do not, the experience of raising a child who stutters can be challenging and frustrating.
The feeling of being ‘different’ or needing to be ‘fixed’ continues into adulthood. This perspective can lead to an increased empathy gap.
Increased empathy and understanding:
Stuttering often prompts people to be more empathetic in social situations. They must be patient and sensitive to both themselves and their listeners. People who stutter often develop a keen awareness of the challenges that people face in different aspects of life. This empathy can create deeper connections and understanding. It can help us grasp emotions, intuitions, and minds beyond words.
Distorted Sense of Self
Stuttering can make us feel helpless. As humans, we rely on language and speech to communicate, connect, and shape our identities.
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Speech disorders like stuttering often cause shame. People fear their inability to communicate clearly and worry about being judged or rejected.
Some studies suggest that adults who stutter have negative thoughts. They expect and accept this inner disrespect.
Increased Self-Awareness:
Stuttering requires a deep self-examination of one’s feelings and thoughts. It also needs a review of one’s way of communicating. This journey of self-awareness can lead to self-discovery and enhanced personal growth. People who stutter often focus on their communication skills. They know their strengths, weaknesses, and anxiety triggers. This helps them improve themselves.
Damage personal relationships.
A negative self-view harms a person’s relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. It also hurts their romantic partnerships.
Fear of rejection among people who stutter harms their self-confidence. This, in turn, hurts their relationships.
Improved Communication Skills:
Paradoxically, stuttering can actually lead to the development of exceptional communication skills. As they cope with their speech impairment, people often develop a skill for selecting their words with precision. They use nonverbal or written communication and adapt their style to suit different audiences. These skills can make people who stutter effective and engaging communicators in a variety of contexts.
Mental Health Issues
Dealing with their lack of fluency can take a toll. It can make people who stutter prone to depression and social anxiety.
The harmful assumption that stuttering is a symptom of mental instability is wrong. A misguided view of people with speech impairments causes: low self-esteem, social dysfunction, and emotional exhaustion.
Strengthened Resilience:
Living with stuttering means facing daily communication challenges. This builds resilience. People who stutter face frustration, rejection, embarrassment, and disappointment. They develop coping strategies that can help in other areas of life. Overcoming these obstacles builds a rare mental toughness. It can boost growth, self-confidence, and perseverance.
Advocacy and Leadership:
Many who stutter advocate for greater awareness of speech disorders. This advocacy role can lead to personal empowerment and the development of leadership skills. By sharing their stories, people who stutter can change minds. They challenge social views and promote inclusion.
Fighting Perfectionism:
Stuttering breaks down the perfectionism that has become a disease and a barrier in modern society. People who stutter learn that communication is not always perfect. Misunderstandings and difficulties are a key part of it. This understanding can lead to a more authentic and accepting approach to self-expression. Embracing flaws and reducing perfectionism can help. It fosters acceptance and self-compassion. It also reduces the pressure to meet unrealistic standards.
Enhanced Creativity:
Stuttering’s unique challenges push people to find new ways to express themselves. This process can develop innovative thinking and problem-solving skills. They will go beyond the challenges of speech.
I’m Ziv Eyal, director of the “Creative Processes Workshop.” It’s a center for art and creative therapy. It brings together art teachers and mental health professionals. We believe creativity is key to mental health and our sense of aliveness. I have a graduate degree in analytical psychotherapy. It is recognized by the American Psychological Association. I also hold an M.A. in psychology and art, with a focus on creative processes. I have extensive experience in face-to-face and distance therapy (“Online Psychologist” service). I see creativity — in its broadest and deepest sense — as the center of our ability as humans to deal with reality — both internal and external. Simone de Beauvoir writes that “to be authentic” means we become creative and claim ownership of who we are, of our self, which our cho
