Waste
Say no to afterthoughts, dive into brutal reality
I’m wasting my life,yes I am.
I don’t see any motivation
To go forward
To achieve my dreams-
Wait- What are they?
Did I even have any at all?
Or was it all my delusion to stay?-
To stay normal, not breaking
How can I?! This is normal.
In this part of the world.
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Do I need help? Yes, I do.
Do I deserve help?
Maybe not…
There are people suffering
To think, in the face of it-
I am nothing, they don’t feel-
Abusive, mentally or physically
But then, why? Why is my mind reeling?
Reeling off course, panicked breaths,
Tiny tremors in my hands.
But they don’t even hurt me
But I see myself in the mirror,
How awfully close I am-
Close to becoming more like them
Or I have already been.
Now all I do is waste my time,
Time which is crucial to me!
Time which should bear fruits for me!
But I waste it on my phone…
Finding things to keep me off-
Keep off from facing reality.
How did I turn out like this?
I used to not be so lazy.
Procrastination had its limits.
But now, I am racing against time.
And it feels like I actually have-
Actually do have emotions.
Always thought I am like a rock,
Didn’t care about the world but-
Now- it all feels too real somehow.
