I Took COM-120 So You Don’t Have To
I only signed up for COM-120 because it’s required for my degree, and honestly, I wasn’t that excited about it. I thought it was going to be more about speeches, presentations, and public speaking, but I was wrong. I quickly realized there is more to communication than speech. The way we listen, handle conflict, manage our emotions, and read other people are all important parts of communication. These are the 10 things that stuck with me the most.
- Communication is More Than Just Talking.
Before taking this class, I would have said being a good communicator meant being able to explain yourself clearly and talk to people easily. I still think that’s important, but this class taught me there is a lot more to it than that. Listening, understanding your own emotions, paying attention to how other people are reacting, and even knowing when to slow down before responding are all part of communication too.
2. Listening is Just as Important as Talking.
One thing that stuck with me is that listening and understanding are not the same thing. You can hear every word a person says without trying to understand what they mean. I think good communication means listening without already planning your response, jumping to conclusions, or immediately getting defensive. Sometimes people do not need you to fix anything. They really just want to be heard and have a place to vent.
3. How You Handle the Conflict Matters More Than the Conflict
I used to think the issue surrounding the conflict itself was the biggest problem when it came to interpersonal communication, but this class made me look at things differently. Of course, there are sources of conflict that are really serious, like lying or cheating, where it really doesn’t matter how you address the issue because the damage to the relationship is probably going to be catastrophic regardless. However, a lot of problems get worse because of how people communicate them. Being accusatory, jumping to conclusions, interrupting, or immediately getting defensive can turn something that really wasn’t that big of a deal into a huge argument. The way you word things and how willing you are to actually listen can completely change the direction of a conversation.
4. Your Tone and Body Language Matter
One of the biggest things people forget is that communication is not just the words you use. Your tone, facial expressions, and body language can completely change how someone receives what you are saying to them. You can say the exact same thing two different ways and get two completely different reactions depending on HOW you say it. Sometimes what you are communicating without saying anything is more important than what actually comes out of your mouth.
5. “I” Statements Make Sense
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When I first read about “I” statements, I rolled my eyes, but once I understood the psychology behind them, they really did make sense. Saying how something made you feel instead of immediately telling someone what they did wrong can keep them from feeling attacked and getting defensive. It does not mean you cannot hold someone accountable, but the way you start the conversation can make a huge difference in whether the other person listens or immediately shuts down.
6. Self-Awareness Is a Big Part of Communication
I’ve always thought I have a high level of emotional intelligence and am a pretty self-aware person, but this class made me think more about how much that matters when communicating with other people. Knowing your own strengths, weaknesses, triggers, and habits makes it a lot easier to understand why you react to things the way you do. It’s impossible to actually improve the way you communicate if you do not recognize what you are bringing into the conversation yourself.
7. Knowing You’re Upset and Managing It Are Two Different Things
One of my biggest takeaways from the emotional intelligence assignment was that being aware of your emotions does not automatically mean you are good at controlling them. I can usually tell when I am getting frustrated or stressed, but slowing myself down before reacting is harder. Sometimes stopping and taking a little time before responding can make the difference between solving the issue or making it worse.
8. Self-Disclosure Can Create a Connection Fast
The blind date video with the 36 questions made me think about self-disclosure. The two people seemed to connect quickly because they were willing to answer personal questions honestly instead of staying on the surface. I still don’t think you can fall in love from asking someone 36 questions, but I do think it would be a good way to gauge if you have the same basic values, interests, or want the same things out of life.
9. People Can See the Same Conversation Completely Differently
One assignment that really stood out to me was when we had to respond to other students about the blind date video. I thought the two people had obvious chemistry, while another student thought their body language seemed closed off. We watched the exact same interaction and saw two completely different things. It was a great reminder that our own life experiences and personalities can greatly affect how we interpret a situation.
10. Communication Only Works If Both People Participate
This might be the biggest thing I will take away from this class. You can be a good communicator, choose your words carefully, listen, use “I” statements, and try to explain yourself until you are blue in the face, but it still takes two people. If the other person isn’t capable of listening or understanding, you cannot communicate enough for both people. I think learning when to keep trying and when you have to accept the person for who they are is very important too.
