The Return

I found the clothes I will wear home

Have Courage — photo by author

My travel clothes are ready.

They announce my exit and entrance.

They are like three bells chiming the time.

Black.

Like shadows. For I know how impermanent I am.

Black.

The color I was asked again and again to give up, by my family.

Black.

I did for awhile. I wore old lady prints and old lady jewelry. The few bits left are put away.

I have two long black dresses, and a black shirt to wear to bed.

Black shoes to wear when I go out the zendo door.

Rough clothes to do outside work.

I have one simple small black purse, and one black work bag.

But: I have white old lady underwear. I am a realist.

At the age of 71, I am re-entering Zen practice.

For a few months.

It has been almost 25 years since my last zazen.

I don’t know what will happen after this.

But then, at this time of my life, I don’t know what will happen each day.