Naivety
I am in my early 30’s. Looking back, I feel I have only & only been naive all my life. I have done the basics — education & marriage. But looking back, I feel that I was always a people pleaser. Listened to people who either didn’t have good intentions or were projecting their own fears & insecurities onto me. I have always asked, “How would my parents feel about this?” “How would other people think about it?” I have never really asked, “How would I feel about it?” “Is this the right thing to do?”
I have always listened to people who weren’t the best. Who didn’t have my best interests at heart. Who didn’t really care much about me. All because I couldn’t judge them or their character. All because I couldn’t see who my friends & enemies were. Also because I was running on wrong beliefs such as “Respect the elders,” “The elders are always right,” etc.
These wrong beliefs come from your parents, teachers, relatives, school, books, media and society. You learn by looking at others. This social conditioning might be right or might not be right. If you do not question these beliefs (of course just within yourself) then you are an absolute naive person. Because you are now running your entire life with a manual somebody else gave you. The premise here being other people are smarter than you.
Naive people are submissive. Naive people do not question their life. Naive people do not introspect. Naive people do not question or read people. Naive people are shy. Naive people are non-assertive. Naive people are scared.
The non-naive on the other hand are not the exact opposite of naive. But they consider the timing, situation, risk & are mature. Maturity sees things for what they are and chooses to do the right thing. At every single step. Not to say they won’t make mistakes. Despite taking everything into account we can still make mistakes. That’s reality. But by being non-naive, you are decreasing the odds of failure & mistakes. Even if you do fail, you know the risk involved.
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Non-naive people know what to and what not to do. The naive people don’t. Non-naive people know whom to and whom not to trust. Naive people don’t. Non-naive people assess the risk clearly before moving forward. Naive people don’t even know there is risk involved. If they do, they don’t know how to measure it. The non-naive see where the traps are. The naive people don’t see the traps & get straight into it. The non-naive don’t trust anybody and assess everybody. The naive people just blindly trust everyone.
Being a naive person will ruin your life. You can be destroyed by it. If you are naive & start blaming other people for it, then there’s nobody who can save you. Naivety is your enemy. You must fight with as much of force as possible against naivety.
Naivety is when you assume everyone is good & everyone wishes you well. And that you assume everything people do is in your best interests. You assume everyone is your well-wisher just because you have known them for a while. Or just because they are in a position of authority. Or because they have helped you earlier. Do not ever be naive. There’s nothing to be gained out of it. You must try to get rid of it like a plague.
Naive people do not realize the consequences of their actions. They lacks self-awareness. They lack the ability to think & reflect. On their own actions & those of others.
In retrospect, all the mistakes I have done in the past are because of my naivety. I have trusted people I should not have trusted. I have given information to people which I should not have given. Some of my actions have been wrong with people — I have loved people I should not have, I have given to people I shouldn’t have. All of that was because I didn’t have the ability to pause & think, “What will be the consequence of this action?” What is the worst outcome that can come out of this action or situation? Who benefits? Who loses? Why is this person doing what he’s doing?
Nobody does anything without a reason. Human beings are reason & emotion oriented creatures. They wouldn’t do anything without a reason. Hence, don’t ever be naive. Look for the reasons below. Naivety will destroy you.
