Danny Devito is a Bad Influence?
Nothing says Lovin’ Like Danny in a Muppet Movie!
The Imp-resario of comedy is once again on a shit list for whatever some OFAY CRITIC deemed him to be.
THE PUTZ!
The critic not Danny!
Danny Devito is MY HERO!
He has suffered the slings and arrows of becoming a leading man in Hollywood regardless of physical stature because HE CAN FUCKING ACT!
Plus- he’s a cool dude!
Still, this MATILDA wants to know:
What did my COSA NOSTRA DANNY DO NOW, NU?
Some popup came on the internet, and it said Danny was a bad influence in the movies — for what? If you wanna come over before or after we breaka you face for an apology it’s up to you -Hack News Maker Whoever You Are!
People Who Worked With Danny DeVito Talk About What He Was Like Behind The Scenes
Never mind. The show must go on! Hence, I send the King of Neptune -Township, NJ an offer he can’t refuse. It ain’t “Boardwalk Empire” yet it’s CHERCE!
Dear Danny: May I call you Danny? Please be in my movie entitled FAGOWOLFE.
Here’s the pitch: Three Black male college students join an unusual fraternity in their freshman year, where everyone who enters the frat house becomes a gay werewolf.
You dear Danny, play the basketball coach of a mixed and sundry college team with Chance the Rapper as your Assistant Coach and Jack Nicholson as the Interim College Chancellor who also teaches home-economics to said team and sundry that includes, Shaq, Bird, Pippin and other dream team as freshmen who need inspiration after a losing streak.
This is where you and Chance show your great comedic talents — plus the Brotherhood says they will buy 10'000 tix in advance plus throw a hazzurah the life of which the mob ain’t never seen! Especially if Jack will sign autographs!
Oh-and there’s a sequel!
Ambruster, Roger, and James are friends from a middle-class neighborhood who are Freshmen at what used to be an all-black college. Their parents expect them to excel in their studies, get into a fraternity, and strive to do something for their community, so they choose professions oriented toward their lifestyles.
After being denied entry to white fraternities they become members of Fago Delta Phi House, a mixed bag of BIPOC students rejected by the other houses, who when they are in the house, are transformed into gay werewolves.
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Ambruster is studying physical education so he can coach basketball for high school and constantly denies that he and his friends are in a gay fraternity. Inside the fraternity he is out and about as a friendly gay werewolf host.
James, a shy and scholarly music major wants to teach music to impoverished children. When transformed he is the Fago House DJ and plays old-school dance music, making snide comments on the mike and generally keeping the party rocking.
Roger is embarking on a career in political science. He wants to be a sociologist and study the history of the human race. He is always sporting a large blunt and is constantly questioning society. He is like a beat poet who wants to produce art. When he becomes a werewolf he becomes like Cyrano de Bergerac writing love notes from one student to the next in a gay context. Out in real life, he is a ladies’ man. He also writes love notes to his girlfriend Regina. She and her friends refuse to believe that Roger has become a gay werewolf.
Regina and her home girls, Deshandra and Pooly are always on a snark about what the guys are up to. They serve as the voice of reason in their roles to teach the guys whether they are as cool as they believe themselves to be. While they are all liberal arts majors they have not chosen fields of interest in their first year and refuse to take part in the cliquishness of female sororities they attempt to get into.
The ladies sneak into Fago House. When they enter the door they turn into Werewolfettes ala Diana Ross and The Supremes and get down with James. After this, the ladies create a record label called Fago Phi Records. Signing James to a contract, they pitch the Fago song ( What Kinda Woof Don’t You Understand) to the radio. The song becomes a hit, and James becomes an overnight DJ sensation.
Meanwhile, Danny Devito as the coach of the basketball team, and Jack Nicholson, the interim college director, along with Chance the Rapper as Danny’s sidekick, must recruit a great team since they have not had a winning streak in years.
The team consists of retired players like Larry Byrd, Scotty Pippin, Shaq, and other famous NBA players. The players are also Freshmen who as a team wear rainbow-colored beanies with propellers on them and attend classes like any student would. They become friendly with Ambruster in Phys Ed., hang out with Roger when he is waxing poetic about humanity, and listen to James’s tracks as he produces them.
Jack as the interim college director and home economics professor teaches the team, Ambruster, James, and Roger, how to knit, cook, pick up women, and other comedic items.
As long-term alumni of Fago House, Jack and Danny send Chance and the team to a party one night, where everyone turns into a werewolf. Jack and Danny have set up cameras to watch the goings on. DJ cranks up the Fago song while Chance and the team dance with the other frat members in a raging hairy house party. Larry is transformed into a Yeti.
After the party, Larry and Scottie, as Yeti and werewolf, fall asleep in each other’s arms on the couch in Fago House. The rest of the team wakes up in the team bunk room with heavy beard stubble, wondering where it came from. They get into an argument about stinky feet.
The next day Danny shows the team the tapes, and they are benched for the season. Chance tries to convince him to keep the team in place. After a heavy losing streak, Danny and Jack concede and allow the team to play in the finals. The team agrees on one condition, that Danny and Jack attend the afterparty at Fago House.
Winning the team’s first year the entire court goes crazy when the cheerleaders sing the Fago song. Jack and Danny won’t attend the party. Yet the team has their way, and they are taken to the party where they reveal that they too have been long-time members of Fago House.
The crowd goes wild when Danny and Jack as werewolves do the Fago Spy Dance, and past alumni of Fago House show up for the party.
The college finally hires its new director (Vanessa Williams) who wants to shut Fago House down, yet, too has her stories of the fabled Fago House!
Sequel to follow Fagowolfe 2!
Never mind!
Here is my CHANCE — no pun intended — to go all the way!
If you, dear reader, would like to see this movie produced send your best comments!
KIDS- with the time we have left in this crazy world I figured I go for broke. This script has been sitting on my computer since I wrote it in Memphis some years ago and smoked some fine phatties with some rasta dubbas from Alabama…a strange and brutal place it be, Alabama-thank goodness we were in Memphis.
LIVE LARGE AND MEAN IT!
Peace, yo?
Originally published at https://stefanieaugust.substack.com.
