Going Rogue
Well I had ’em all out there steppin’ and fetchin’
Like their heads was on fire and their asses was ketchin’
But I figured I’d better go ahead and split before the cops got there…
-Charlie Daniels Band, “Uneasy Rider”
It all started when Yokohama got in touch with me to ask if they could send me some tires to review. “Sure.” I said, because I’m not dumb and I like getting free tires, not to mention the whole “it’s my job” thing. I’d be happy to throw some Yokos on the Prius and try them out.
“Sure, what tires are you thinking about?”
“Well, we’re thinking of the Advan Neova AD08 R.”
“Oh my…”
That’s kind of a problem. Neovas are R-compound, Extreme Performance track tires that are basically street-legal because sometimes you have to drive to the track, and hey, autobahns are technically streets, right? Putting these tires on my Prius would be a sick joke. In fact, it turns out they don’t even make them for a Prius wheel size.
On the other hand, these are the next generation of orange oil tires, and orange oil tires are kind of my thing. I’ve already written quite a bit about the nanochemistry of using orange oil resins in tires like the Advan ENV-R2 racing tire and the Avid Ascend Grand Touring All-Season consumer tires. I’m definitely interested in getting a look at the speedy younger cousins of the family.
“Let me get back to you on that.”
Thank goodness for networks. When I explain the problem to my wife, she gives me That Look, and says “Didn’t I tell you that Matt wanted to help with a review sometime?” Matt is a friend and a former customer of Rim & Wheel Works. He’s also a track safety instructor with a Mazda Miata T-50 just hanging around. It turns out that he is also not dumb and is willing to put some free Yokohama tires on his Miata even though his tire sponsor is, well, Someone Else.
So, we’re off to the races… or maybe not. It’s now too late in the season to register for any more actual racing, so we begin to plan for a session of Parking Lot Autocross. But at this point it’s starting to cool down and looking like an early winter, so we will have to move quickly. Because of the Advan Neova’s rubber compound, they must be stored and driven at temperatures above 14 degrees F just to avoid damaging them. We would need temps much higher than that to be able to warm up the tires to reasonable operating levels and get any kind of real feeling for them. The race was on, and Yokohama’s PR people were very helpful in getting us the tires RIGHT NOW after I spent so much time getting things lined up.
We chose our site carefully, an unused overflow lot at an annex building in a massive commercial complex, figuring that nobody would be around for miles on a Saturday morning, and went to work getting the T-50 off the trailer and setting out some cones for a long figure-eight. The lot itself is not at all even, which is kind of a bonus, so we set up the course to take advantage of dips and rises in the surface as well.
With that done, we strap ourselves in and Matt drops the hammer on the Miata. You know that scene in Independence Day where they take off in the alien ship, and Will Smith yells “I HAVE GOT TO GET ME ONE OF THESE!!!”
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Yeah… that. I’m typically more of a Mustang enthusiast in general, but I was liking me some Mazda that morning. We did us some steppin’ and fetchin’, some turnin’ and burnin’, some screechin’ and… some more screechin’. Whatever. It was awesome.
Until the cop car pulled up.
Fortunately, we were already loading the Miata back on the trailer at that point. It’s not like I hadn’t thought of this possibility, either. I made sure I had my business cards with me so I could explain that I am in fact a professional, not just some hoonigan trying to make the next Gymkhana movie in a parking lot. I walk over to the cruiser and say hello with a smile.
“We had a noise complaint.” he says, eyes roving over the screamingly obvious reason for said complaint, which he has literally caught cherry-red-handed.
So much for nobody being around on Saturday morning. “I work for a tire publication, sir, and I was actually just working on reviewing these tires.”
He blinks at me, stone-faced.
“We’re finishing up right now.”
With that, a grin splits the stone. “Well then you’ve solved my problem, haven’t you?”
The officer drives off, grinning. I turn around, grinning.
Matt is not grinning. Matt is frowning.
“What’s up?”
Matt gestures at the left rear tire, which is currently doing a remarkable impression of a pancake.
Oops. “What the hell?”
“No idea. Maybe we caught some debris, but I don’t see anything.”
Later on, Matt’s shop and sponsor, Long Distance Tire, which had kindly done the mounting and balancing for us, determined that the failure was in fact due to some form of debris that had rather authoritatively punctured the tread, and so the flat had nothing to do with the tire itself. Which is a relief. This review was complex enough already — the last thing I need is some kind of mysterious tire failure while I’m reviewing the damn tire.
