Seek First
For a long time, I lived like a vagabond, moving from one thing to another, building a glass kingdom out of plans, expectations, and things that never seemed to last. Then I learned to seek first, seek the King. Little by little, royal values began to matter more than achievement or recognition. What I thought would satisfy me eventually faded, but the One upon the throne remained. Looking back, I realize the King was what I was seeking all along.
This retreat was different from any retreat I had attended before. For the first time, I was not only a participant — I was part of the leaders. Stepping into this new role allowed me to see things from a perspective I had never experienced before. What I once viewed as a schedule of sessions, activities, and responsibilities became something much deeper. Behind every moment was a group of people serving with love, giving their time and energy so that others could encounter the King.
One of the lessons I learned during this retreat was understanding what it truly means to seek first the Kingdom of God. Sometimes, it is tempting to pursue God because of what He can give us — peace, blessings, answered prayers, or a better life. Yet God’s Kingdom was never meant to be sought for its benefits alone. A kingdom is valuable because of its King. This retreat reminded me that the reason we seek God’s Kingdom is because of the King. We follow Him not because of the rewards He may give, but because He is worthy of being known, worshipped, and obeyed. The more I served and witnessed others serve, the more I realized that genuine faith is not centered on what we can receive from God, but on a desire to be closer to the King Himself.
Before this retreat, I often found myself building what I now call my glass kingdom. It was made of personal goals, expectations, achievements, and things I thought would bring fulfillment. From the outside, it looked strong and beautiful, but glass is fragile. It can shatter with a single crack. Through the retreat, I was reminded that the things I build for myself will never compare to what God is building in me. My glass kingdom was temporary, but His Kingdom is eternal.
Looking back, I realize there were seasons when I lived like a vagabond. Not physically wandering, but spiritually drifting from one pursuit to another, constantly searching for satisfaction in places that could never truly satisfy. I chased motivation, achievement, and temporary excitement, hoping they would fill the emptiness. Yet during this retreat, I was reminded that my heart was never meant to wander endlessly. It was created to find its home in God. The more I sought Him, the less lost I felt.
Another thing that impacted me was learning what it truly means to carry royal values as a citizen of God’s Kingdom. In a world that often measures greatness through power, influence, and recognition, God’s Kingdom teaches something entirely different. Royal values are found in humility, love, integrity, kindness, honesty and a heart that chooses to serve others before itself. Throughout the retreat, I learnt we have to treat every person with genuine care and respect regardless of who they were, especially our enemies.
Get sebiru agustus’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Through all of this, I discovered a new love for serving. I realized that we are called not only to belong to His Kingdom but also to reflect its values wherever we go. One thought stayed with me throughout the retreat: This world is too big for little me, but I will never be too small to be given great Kingdom royal values. I may not be able to change the whole world, but I can choose to live with the values of the Kingdom and allow God to work through me, one act of love, kindness, and service at a time. Be real, be the light, be an example until they see Jesus. Let God’s love radiate from our live.
Perhaps the most beautiful realization was seeing everything point back to the One upon the throne. Behind every prayer, every act of service, every worship song, and every unseen sacrifice was a desire to honor Him. Being part of the leaders allowed me to witness countless moments that most participants would never see, and each one revealed God’s faithfulness in a new way. This retreat was not simply an event — it was an invitation to know Him more deeply. As I leave this experience behind, I carry with me a renewed joy, a heart that loves serving, and a greater desire to seek first not my own kingdom, but the One upon the throne who reigns forever.
In the middle of all these lessons, God spoke to me in a way I never expected. As one of the singers for every session throughout the retreat, I spent much of my time worship and standing with a microphone. Yet what made this experience so meaningful was that I had not truly sung for months. The joy that once came so naturally seemed distant, and I could not remember the last time I felt truly alive while singing.
But session after session, as I sang and watched people worship, I felt something in my heart come alive again. It was as if God was gently reminding me of a gift He had given me and inviting me to return to it. More than just finding my voice again, I found the joy that had been missing for so long. Somehow, through every song and every moment of worship, I felt God whispering, “Come back. Sing again.” What began as a responsibility during the retreat became a personal reminder that He was not finished with that part of my story.
More than that, I found love in serving. I saw God’s servants treating every person with genuine care, patience, and respect. Their actions reflected royal values — not power or recognition, but humility, kindness, and a willingness to put others first. Watching them reminded me that leadership in God’s Kingdom is not about being seen; it is about serving.
Seeing the retreat from this side gave me a whole new appreciation for what happens behind the scenes. I witnessed prayers whispered before sessions began, quiet acts of service that no one applauded, and hearts fully surrendered to the One upon the throne. Through it all, I realized that the beauty of God’s Kingdom is not found in grand displays, but in ordinary people faithfully reflecting His love.
As the retreat came to an end, I carried home more than memories. I carried a renewed heart, a restored joy, and a deeper understanding of Seek First. That had become more than just a theme — it had become a personal reminder.
I learned to seek the Kingdom because of the King, not because of the rewards. I was reminded to let go of my glass kingdom and stop living like a vagabond searching for fulfillment in temporary things. Through serving, worshipping, and witnessing the lives of those around me, I learned what true royal values look like and what it means to live as a citizen of God’s Kingdom. I found joy in singing again, a love for serving that I had never experienced before, and a deeper appreciation for the work God is doing behind the scenes. Most importantly, I left with my eyes fixed on the One upon the throne, knowing that when He is the center of everything, every pursuit finds its proper place. This retreat did not simply change how I see ministry — it changed how I see the Kingdom, the King, and my place within His story.
I Thank God for this because finally I can feel Alive Again.
