I’m Done Being a Parent Pleaser
I am my parent’s pride and joy. I am also still living with them in my mid 20s and with no friends and no social life. I am done living like this, it’s time I become a black sheep.
I got the good grades, I went to the best schools, I was the well-mannered obedient girl. The eldest daughter that keeps the family name clean. The gag is, I am the only one doing that! I cannot afford to make mistakes, I cannot afford to make decisions that my parents may disagree.
When planning my college graduation party my dad asked me how many friends I will invite. I told him that I did not have friends because he did not allow me to go outside. I thought he would feel guilty and sad. Instead he started bragging how he has many friends, so many they would fill the graduation party hall. They are the ones who ended up being guests at my party. I only invited one friend, a close classmate I had constantly kept in touch. That honestly angered me.
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Now I am just home, writing this with a low paying job, wondering if I will ever soar and become what I was destined to be while still listening to my parents. Something deep inside tells me that my dreams are at odds with their principles. I was born for the arts. I love to sing, to perform. I love fashion and movies and creativity.
I grew up in at time when art barely paid the bills. I was told I had to study “something realistic” so that I can put food on the table. Then Covid hit and things flipped, I can barely pay the bills with my “realistic degree”. The market is oversaturated with thousands of people like me.
Ironically, they do not like my job. They think it pays me peanuts and would like me to quit. I applied to jobs for months before I got it. There’s no way I am letting go for the little financial freedom I have. I am frankly tired. I am a grown adult who can barely do anything. If you are wondering how I have managed to live like this, long story short, I grew up quite sheltered. Thank God for the internet because I stopped being naive quite early. The parent-pleasing thing has been quite tough to get rid of though.
Sometimes it feels like they enjoy my misery because I am easy to control. They can tell something is wrong with me, they are not that oblivious. This article is a first step to flip things. I have dreamed to be free, it’s time I actually make that happen.
I think they will still love me when I challenge everything they taught me. After all, they love my rebellious siblings just as they are.
