About Those Self Portraits
Have you ever thought about people who paint themselves? I have thought about it a lot. At first I used to think what pompous of them to draw themselves. But now my viewpoint has shifted significantly. This change has been prompted by my discovery of Van Gogh’s self portraits.
Van Gogh had a very difficult life, he had little to no money, he moved to a new country, faced years of struggles so that he could follow his passion of painting. It is widely known that Gogh painted so many self portraits because he was short of money. The Van Gogh Museum even states “To save money, he sometimes painted self-portraits on the back of other paintings. By doing that, he avoided the costs not only of a model but also of expensive canvas.” As I look through the 20–30 portraits Gogh painted of himself, they are all of the same person but each carry a different look, a different composure, a different style and most importantly a different story.
Look at these self portraits, Here there are 4 in this one all painted during 1886–1889 when he has very less money to work with but each of them so different so unique. Among the four of them the dull greyish one is the smallest one and while looking at it it screams an identity, its like an ember that preserved a moth in its time capsule. I’d like to imagine him happy when he painted the green self portrait, the green background with him in the foreground the light hitting his face, the expression. The blue one feels like he was in a good mood when he painted that one depicting himself as the painter he always wanted to be. The pencil drawing when he had no paint to work with leads me to believe that he was an addict, addict to this drug he called painting.
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Below I will put more of his portraits I could find in the Van Gogh Museum website. I want you to look at each one of it how his facial expression changes, what he is wearing, how he chooses to paint his background. There is a story in each one of them and I want to hear all of them.
Some of them have this somber, I need to paint today feeling attached to it. In some of them he looks frustrated like his beard is going to catch fire. Some looks like he drew then in a rush so that he could fill his daily quota of painting. But in each of them, it is still this ginger guy who loves to paint, its like the paint runs in his veins.
Also the background is very different from each other, maybe it was limitation or I’d like to think it was his choice but he seems to return to this lovely blue for his backgrounds, always so interesting. In those strokes and in those hue, there is the magic potion that pulls me into the character that is Van Gogh.
Another thing that reappears is his blue coat and his straw hat. I imagine Gogh strolling down the city of France with his trusty canvas and his brushes to find the place where he could paint whatever he had in mind or whatever came to his mind. He was truly a free bird captured in the cage of his body wanting to spread his wings and fly away.
Among all the self portraits that Van Gogh Painted these two are my favorite. The one with a bandaged ear has all his favorite colors, the Yellow from the sunflowers, the blue starry night and unbelievably green field of Irises. This self portrait depicts Gogh as thin person as his mental health condition would be worsening. It makes me as an outside viewer look at this and see bright colors and wish he would have stayed alive long enough to see all his hardwork pay off.
The green one with his wavy brush strokes, muddy colors with an expression I view as a resignation to the life he wanted. The colors have blended together to create a portrait that I read as sincerely how he is feeling, how he looked at himself. It is important to recognize that Van Gogh was active during late 1800s, he could have seen the 1900s if he hadn’t died in 1890. Would he view himself as the muddy portrait or the one with bright colors, how would he have seen the new world and the war that plagued the globe. These are the question we will never find an answer to.
A thing that always comes up when talking about self portraits is Pablo Piccasso and the evolution of his self portraits. I heard someone on youtube say that the Pablo Picasso portraits are so different because they were how Pablo Picasso felt he looked rather than his physical appearance.
Though Gogh’s depiction of himself is not as extreme as Picasso, He did paint a lot of self portraits and what he painted was how he felt at that moment. That is why all the portraits of Gogh are so interesting and the same is true for Picasso. The Portraits are the story of Gogh, in a way they are a part of Van Gogh’s life.
I am not an art critic, neither am I an artist. I am a normal guy who likes looking at all these paintings. I like searching for the stories in the painting, finding something that I can relate to the people who lived and died hundreds of years ago helps me believe that although the time has passed, the feelings the stories live on. Seeing the Sistine chapel, the burning of the houses of parliament or the thinker all shows that there is still a connection between us.
So from a person appreciating art, I’d love to hear from you. What are your favorite painting, favorite movie or favorite anything relating to art? Drop me a email or message or comment. I really will wait for what you’ll say. : )
