Dear mind,
This is perhaps the first time I am ever writing to you. You have known me, been with me since 19 years and you are the reason for what I currently am. So In all these years I never think I’ll write to you upon a note like this, but dear mind tell me why do you seek validation? Or to put it precise whose validation do you seek? Maybe friends, maybe teachers, maybe parents or in fact maybe the validation of some fictional character you created half an hour before going to sleep.
Perhaps at that time when you were 15 or 16 it was necessity. Getting validated at each step you take, showing people your next move, showing, that you do not give a damn when someone else is already two or ten steps ahead in something you’d love seeing yourself excel. When on the inside you grit your teeth and wish that they’d be dead.
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It’s been 4 years since then and I still want to ask you the same thing, Whose validation is it that you seek? Maybe seeing a group photo of some known people on Instagram and wondering, “If I’d been with them… then I would make their trip worth remembering..” Maybe the last time you spoke with them was when you were 10 years old and when you’re 19 now, you don’t want to speak with them again but secretly, you want them to admire you like you’re some celebrity.
You know what the truth actually is, you feel you’re not resenting anything or anyone, but actually you’re resenting a lot and maybe you’re resenting more than you think. Maybe because things aren’t working out for you, maybe you’re not able to progress in anything, maybe because you feel lost. And, imagining all these scenarios, is just an escape from reality. It gives you a moment of pleasure for about an hour and then the next minute you’re back to reality, A place or in fact a prison you’ve tried to escape for years but always failed, why, because this prison has no walls to climb and escape, you may or may not get out of it.
So dear mind, I won’t tell you to start becoming someone entirely different from tomorrow. But I’ll tell you to “please stop escaping!” Because when you escape you not only avoid the work that’s in front of you, that work which may be on your first priority list, but you avoid something more beautiful the present moment. The one moment you have actually trying your best instead of wasting it thinking about some anonymous faces and anonymous validations.
Hope you’ll get it…
