Sitemap
Xian

Xian

My Dairy

2 min readJun 1, 2026

Date: 2–6–2026

I am scared no actually terrified for my future, there are my things i want to do in life, many places i want to see, many joys i have to experience. But today i feel like i won’t be able to achieve them, you know how some days are when you feel so low, so frustrated that you want to cry, that you want to scream because you are never alone, there is always someone their and just the feeling of having a presence of someone on these days feels so suffocating because i can not express myself. Why? Well, if they see questions will be asked like what happened? is there an issue? , And I don’t want to answer those question even though they are asked out of care. Planning an outing feels like a crime that i shouldn’t commit because i can spend that time doing something career wise productive. but that doesn’t mean i am doing a very productive job when i am not going out, No that’s not the case too. That’s why i am frustrated with myself, with this society and with this world that we live in.

Get Xian’s stories in your inbox

Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.

Whenever you open news, Instagram, YouTube, etc. it is the same thing no jobs for freshers, hate crimes, exploitation, caste discrimination, rapes, murders, and toxic environment, every thing is unsafe every thing takes away some part of you from yourself it is just a difference if it is your physical health or mental health.

When in the end when i ask myself what i really want the answer is simple living in a cozy small place around nature, trees, rain, lakes, lying in the grass cooking for myself and going for a peaceful workplace to work, going on occasional trips and a safe environment. Is that so difficult to achieve financially or without being held down in chains of the society? Is it? Shouldn’t that be basic.

Anyway, I hope someday i achieve that.

Thank You for Today.

--

--