Notes.
Taking naked pictures was fun
until everything turned into porn,
until my naked skin lost meaning,
until being naked
felt like the new norm.
I wanted to wear my clothes again.
Playing music,
drinking a glass of wine
my little comfort-zone ritual.
A voice asking me to go back.
I want it again,
but not the same.
Things aren't rebellious anymore.
Everything can be seen.
Everything can be bought.
I look at my gallery
and find a hundred pictures
of Fonte da Telha
always shooting the same beach
as if I could finally catch
the moment
when its beauty surprises me.
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Now I take selfies
and look for something
I can still call beautiful.
The sand on my skin.
The warmth of the sunset.
The way the light falls
and makes me stop.
I just keep searching
for another level of beauty
something I can name,
something I can feel,
something that makes me look twice.
All my selfies,
they start to feel
like my hundred pictures
of Fonte da Telha
the same face,
the same light,
the same search
for that little moment
when beauty feels new again.
Maybe that's why
I keep taking them.
Maybe one of them
will surprise me.
