‘Conversion practices destroyed my mental health — my brain snapped’
Survivors of conversion ‘therapy’ call for tighter legislation to protect LGBT+ people from the ‘insidious’ abuse
[Content warning: contains references to suicidal ideation and abuse]
The year is 2008 and Ben Gibbons is standing on a footbridge across the M6 motorway. He is seconds from taking his own life when a stranger takes his arm and pulls him to safety.
Eight months prior, Ben’s family of Jehovah’s Witnesses “exploded” when he was outed as gay. Following this, Ben attended “intense” conversion therapy sessions that he was told would “fix” and “better” him.
A ban of conversion practices, including so-called conversion therapy, has been long-awaited. First promised by the UK government in 2018, a draft bill for England and Wales was published this summer. It outlines how penalties for offenders could include a five year prison sentence and unlimited fines.
What is conversion therapy?
According to a coalition of organisations campaigning for the ban, conversion practices are defined as treatments, practices or services that seek to change or suppress a person’s sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, based on the assumption that any one of those things is inherently preferable to any other.
A survey by Stonewall suggests that 31 per cent of British LGBT+ people have experienced conversion practices.
Ben’s story of survival
For Ben, who is now 39 and based in Norfolk, it started out as extended bible study and prayer sessions but soon escalated.
With the goal of “restoring” heterosexuality, Ben says a religious leader forced him to “restyle” himself to be more traditionally masculine. His hair was shaven and he was banned from wearing jewellery or colourful clothes.
“I started to break a little because they took me away from myself. I wasn’t allowed out of the house and I wasn’t allowed to use the computer without supervision.
“It was to make sure that I was living more godly,” Ben says.
Next, Ben was put through aversion therapy techniques to “teach his brain right from wrong”. Whenever he had an “impure thought” about men he licked his thumb which was coated in a vomit-inducing substance.
Meanwhile, he was instructed to eat his favourite sweets while watching lesbian porn to build a positive association with the opposite sex.
After the crisis on the bridge, Ben fled his family home and experienced homelessness for three years. He spent more than a decade in specialist therapy and was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of the conversion practices he endured.
Ben reacts to the draft legislation
Now, Ben wants to see a ban put into law but has concerns with the current draft of the bill.
Ben says: “Religious loopholes have been closed but they leave a big gaping hole for health care.”
The explanatory notes for the draft bill state that health care services are outside of the scope of the bill, unless the provider “does something which falls far below the standard of care that might reasonably be expected of them”.
It also defines health care services as including all public, private, regulated and non-regulated practitioners.
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“It wouldn’t be much of a stretch for a religious body or internet therapist to do [conversion practices] because they have this big loophole that includes regulated and unregulated settings,” Ben explains.
“In my eyes, the explanatory notes are practically a guide on how to get away with conversion therapy. It shows you how to get around this, which isn’t productive for anyone.”
Survivor perspectives
Other survivors we spoke to, like Gail Yorke and Demitri Rodriguez, who faced conversion practices at religious retreats in 2006 and 2015 respectively, concur with Ben Gibbons’ assessment. Gail, a gay woman, and Demitri, a trans man, agree that the draft ban could allow perpetrators to “call it counselling” and get away with it.
In contrast, survivor Augustine Tanner-Ihm, who experienced a year of small group conversion therapy as a church gap year student in 2013, says he is impressed with the first draft.
He says: “I think it’s so important. It’s been promised over and over that it will be a thing. Of course, it’s probably going to change a little bit, but I’m very happy.”
Meanwhile, Matthew Drapper, who was put through a gay exorcism by his church in 2014, says he is “torn”. He says he is not a fan of too much criminalisation and legislation but does think it’s “really important to see this acknowledgement of the abuse and the harm”.
What could stop the bill passing and how long will it take?
A spokesperson at the government’s Office for Equality and Opportunity says that pre-legislative scrutiny is providing an opportunity to “draw on insight and expertise from a range of parliamentarians to ensure the ban is effective and works long-term.”
Conservative groups argue that the ban will limit freedom of speech and could interfere with people’s right to religious belief and expression.
“Unfortunately, religion is a divisive issue,” says Adrian Hyyrylainen-Trett, a spokesperson for the Liberal Democrats about conversion practices. “It causes people to question people’s right to be who they are.”
Adrian, who proposed motion to conference for the same sex marriage bill that later passed, added that this issue is “more tricky” and could take years rather than months to make its way through the two chambers.
The LGBT+ political advisor says that the bill could “agitate” certain parts of the population, and some peers in the House of Lords, who might try to delay or “scupper” it.
Adrian emphasises the importance of getting the bill across the finish line: “This practice still exists today. It isn’t a Middle Ages or Victorian time practice.
“It’s happening amongst us as we speak.”
Looking ahead…
As Ben Gibbons reflects again on the draft bill and considers its future impact, he feels anxious that the current version will empower conversion practitioners to become “untouchable.”
“It could then have the knock-on effect of more people ending up going through it,” he adds.
“There is much we have to talk to our politicians about and explain how these loopholes need to be absolutely minimised, if not removed.”
The Galop helpline is available for LGBT+ people experiencing abuse or violence, such as hate crime, domestic abuse, sexual violence, so-called “conversion therapy” or any other kind of abuse. Phone 0800 999 5428 or email help@galop.org.uk.
