‘Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing’ — Review
So, the show teeters, stumbling into the infuriating, the tedious and the incomprehensible in turn.
Channel 4’s ‘Handcuffed: Last One Standing’ has received mixed reviews, with many sources criticising it for being not a social experiment (as it claims), but an unfair competition based on outraging as many people as possible.
The show paired total opposites, some of them absolutely vile specimens (I couldn’t have tolerated Sir Ben for 13 minutes, let alone 13 hours) and handcuffed them together for two weeks — or for as long as they could handle it. It platformed some astoundingly offensive views, with little regard for the poor souls paired with these bolshy bigots. Ex-Reform councillor Bob, for instance, maintained for a good few episodes that there was nothing wrong with calling Black people ‘savages’. Sure, eventually he was convinced to apologise for his actions, and good for him. But it took over a week of constant patience from his partner Chris, and a gentle coaxing from Jonathon Ross, for Bob to even consider publicly addressing his racism. Contrasting him with Sir Ben perhaps makes him easier to swallow, but the focus shouldn’t be on whether he grew. It was Chris’s bottomless compassion that triggered that tiny transformation, and that’s who deserves all the glory. It’s the same for Sir Ben; the show makes it so easy to get lost in infuriation and forget that his partner, George, was an absolute saint in dealing with him.
Very few of the other cast members elicited much sympathy from me. Claire and Bambi were badly paired and the conflict between them seemed to erupt out of nowhere, purely rooted in Claire’s insistence on her own superiority. Neither of them were ever going to learn anything. Lin and Frank had more potential but were ultimately underwhelming. I wish they had permitted themselves a proper political conversation without emotions getting in the way. It did amuse me, though, that both thought the other was the oversensitive and inflammatory one. Same for Jo and Reuben, who really should have tried to last longer. Their quick surrender meant that Reuben lost the chance to learn and grow, and I lost the chance to watch him do so. I suspect, despite proclaiming to be biting his tongue and keeping the peace, Reuben gave in to temptation and started winding Jo up on purpose – bait that she readily took.
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The only ones that showed any growth were Anthony (paired with the already brilliant Tilly) and Charlie, who only gained tolerance for her porn-star companion Rob because, at least from what we saw, he hardly told her anything about himself and spent the whole two weeks comforting her and telling her how amazing she was. Their victory at the end felt hollow to me, especially after watching Tilly, who really needed the money, work so hard.
Third runners-up, Morag and Angie, must have been a disappointment to the producers because neither of them was actually more passionate about their cause than they were about winning 50 grand. They also seemed to genuinely get along well, which landed them with so little screen time I kept forgetting they were even in the competition. Perhaps someone a little more vehement than Morag would have given the pair the explosiveness that was clearly expected.
The final pair left to weigh up are probably better left un-weighed. Nina and Sara were so incompatible that I ended up in doubt whether humans are all one species after all. It was hard not to pity Nina; constant bombardment like that would wear down even the most saintly among us. Yet Sara’s complexity did elicit some sympathy, and while I don’t blame Nina for snapping, she was especially irritable from the get-go.
So, the show teeters, stumbling into the infuriating, the tedious and the incomprehensible in turn. And all whilst insisting that it just wants to see a divided nation brought back together. Jonathon Ross closes the show with a voiceover reminder essentially arguing that, although many failed to last even just a few days, the fact that two political opponents managed to bake a potato must prove that anyone can find common ground and get along (as long as there’s 50 grand at the end of it.)
Yet, of the couples who failed, many ended the competition simply glad that their partner wouldn’t get the money. Of the five who did make it two weeks, Tilly was clear that she just needed the cash; Frank and Lin were in some kind of weird power truce, both wanting to prove they could go longer without talking politics; Angie and Morag were just quite good friends; and Chris was some kind of angel with boundless tolerance. Meanwhile, Charlie sobbed her way through having to spend time with just a genuinely nice bloke. It didn’t give me much hope for our divided country, and nor do I think it was intended to.
So, the final question: do I recommend watching it? Well, I can’t say it’ll tell you anything you don’t already know. It won’t change your perspective on any social issues. You’ll never feel more hopeful than angry. But it’ll help you figure out where you stand on certain things, and you’re certain to see something you believe in represented. Plus, it’s good to stick on in the background while you clean the toilets or something. Go on then, you’ve got my blessing. Try not to smash your TV in when you hear what Sir Ben has to say regarding his prize painting by a certain A. Hitler…
