Between the Waves and What Was Left
Timo had stopped trying after the 3rd time. He made his attempts to bring Drew here. The calls. The “lo mesti keluar goa deh, Dew” texts. The “lo cuma perlu naik seaplane, udah siap jalan juga tinggal gas” jab. The silent voice notes filled with nothing but island wind and ocean hums.
Drew never answered. Not directly.
So, Timo gave up. Not on Drew, of course. Never on him. But on coaxing. He continued to stay at Pravaya Island, alone, where the construction crews knew not to bother him after sunset, and the project updates could wait until the concrete cured.
That afternoon, he’d taken his shoes off and let the tide slap against his ankles. The wet sand sank him deeper every time the waves pulled back. The sky was slowly changing, dimming into a darker gradation of gray and blue, and he didn’t bother turning on the lights at the villa.
He just stood there. Soaked. Barefoot. Waiting for nothing.
Until he heard it.
“Tee…!”
Soft. Familiar.
He turned.
And there he was.
Seeing that person walking toward him was the best memory Timo had collected in weeks. The only one he didn’t have to keep folded and hidden behind the rest. His white shirt loose, sleeves rolled up. One of his hands raised just enough, like he wasn’t sure if he was really welcome here.
Timo didn’t speak. He didn’t need to.
He just nodded once. And once was always enough for Drew.
Actually, Drew hadn’t planned to come. At least not today.
But something about seeing his own reflection that morning, eyes dry but swollen, teeth clenched in sleep, made him realize he wasn’t holding up. He was holding in. And that’s significantly different.
He hated that Timo always knew the difference.
For years, Timo had lived like a shadow of gravity. Quiet, invisible, but also the one that kept Drew from floating too far off the ground. Every time Keenan’s world demanded more, Timo never stepped in the way. He just stood behind Drew, a step back. Always reachable, but never imposing.
And now, with no more distractions, no more name-pairing headlines, Drew was terrified to ask what was left.
He came anyway.
Because part of him already knew, Timo wouldn’t make him ask.
They didn’t say much during dinner. The table was small, plates scraped clean of grilled crab, sambal, and overcooked rice. One of the kitchen staff offered them mango slices with ice cubes in a tin cup. Timo smiled. Drew didn’t. He always preferred the ‘fruit’ mango, not that kind of ‘dessert’ mango.
“Emang terbaik sih ini, ikan cakap. Durinya gede-gede, ga ribet,” Timo suddenly blurted out.
Drew frowned and turned his head.
“Ikan Kakap kali, Tee,” he raised an eyebrow. Just enough to crack a smile.
In between chewing and sighing, there was the softest kind of warmth that broke the silence. After that, the atmosphere became warmer. They talked like they used to.
“Lo ngajakin gue ke sini, even villa lo gordennya belom dipasang.” Drew made a joke.
Timo dryly replied, “Guess we’ll just cry in full view.”
They didn’t laugh out loud. They never needed to. But yes, they did laugh.
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Later, on the edge of the wooden dock, they sat close, but not too close. Same as always.
Drew hugged his knees. Timothy leaned back with both arms behind him. The moon lay a dull golden stripe across the black water. And still, they said nothing.
Drew hated it.
Not the silence. But how familiar it was. How Timo had always given him space like this. Unmoved. Steady. Never prying, never reaching, always waiting. For years, Drew lived beside Keenan, and Timo stayed in the shadow between them. Never asking, never speaking out of turn.
And now, when that space was gone, he still wouldn’t move an inch closer unless Drew dragged him into the light.
It stung. It felt undeserved. And yet, Drew didn’t know where to begin.
He turned his head to look.
Timo didn’t move. Didn’t even blink. But something in the set of his mouth changed. And just like that, he said…
“Dew, not all stories need to be told immediately.”
He paused.
“Maybe it’s the tears that have to fall first. Or curses. Or a voice thrown at the sea.” He closed his sentences by turning his head
The moment broke something. Not in a violent way, but like a thread snapping deep inside.
Drew exhaled. His breath shook.
Then it came… Slowly, then all at once. His chest was rising too fast. His hands were trying to keep it in, but it was too late. The tears were hot and stupid, spilling without his permission. No words. Just the weight of it all catching up in one merciless flood.
He didn’t even know why it hit now.
And Timo didn’t speak. Didn’t lean in. Just turned his body ever so slightly.
That was enough.
Drew leaned into his shoulder. No sobbing. Just breathing and trembling. Timo reached up and rested his hand on Drew’s back. Solid. Present. No questions.
Minutes passed. Maybe hours. Neither of them moved to check.
Then, finally, Timo spoke. His voice softly flowed…
“One thing at a time, Dew.”
Another pause.
“Nothing to fix. Nothing to rush. Nothing to worry about.”
And then, softer…
“You know I’m always here, right?”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he continued.
“I won’t ever leave, unless you ask me to.”
Drew didn’t respond. Yeah, he didn’t need to.
Because Timo already knew the answer. He always did.
#dewjirawat #tee_vtp
