Tough Love
There is such a thing as too much of a good thing
Today, Falcon caught me by surprise when he had a tough-love conversation with me that I wasn’t expecting. The conversation started off as a check-in, with me asking him if I was doing what I needed to do and if I was on the right path. What surprised me was when Falcon answered “No” to both. (Pro tip: Don’t ask your guides this unless you’re prepared for an honest answer, whatever that may be, because if you ask, they’ll tell you, in no uncertain terms.) That startled me quite a bit, as this is the first time I’ve ever received that as an answer from him. I actually checked in with one of my other guides to see if maybe I was misinterpreting what Falcon was saying, but they gave me the exact same answers that he did.
Thankfully, he gave me a bit of reassurance when he told me that I hadn’t strayed away from my path yet. Rather, he was telling me this now as a warning that this was the direction I was heading. I didn’t understand, so he broke it down for me very plainly. He explained that, while on the surface, it seemed like I was doing all the right things, really, I was being too rigid in my schedule, trying to force myself through things, which was rapidly leading me towards burnout.
I’ve been lying to myself, telling myself that I’ve been taking time to rest, but he actually had me take a step back and see that no, I really haven’t. I worked straight through last weekend, but I tried to justify it by saying that I took rest breaks in between. Because of this, over the past couple of days, my guides have put me into a situation where I went through, I’ll call it, an “enforced” rest period, where I didn’t have a choice but to stop what I was doing.
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The biggest thing, however, which is what brought up our conversation today, was that the day before, I’d received an unexpected certified letter from my abusive spouse. My spouse occasionally does this as their way of checking up on me since I’m no-contact with them. The reason being that, with certified mail, I’m required to sign for it to prove that I’ve received it, which then goes back to my spouse. When my spouse does this, it’s like they’re trying to prove that they still have a way of checking up on me. Anyway, even though it was nothing more than a simple letter, it left me feeling really rattled.
However, I didn’t want to admit this to myself. I felt ridiculous and was upset with myself for getting shaken up over something that I’d felt was so minor, so I completely ignored how I was feeling. Instead, I tried to push through everything I’d wanted to accomplish that day. Because I’ve struggled with anxiety in the past, there are times when I can get in my head and believe that if I’m experiencing any sort of upset emotion, it’s a sign that I’m slipping back into my anxiety, even though that’s not the case. That’s why today, Falcon had some things come up that brought me to a grinding halt, so that I would have to take a moment to have this conversation with him.
He told me that I’m not a machine and that he wanted me to stop what I was doing. He explained that I needed to allow myself the time to actually process what had happened, rather than trying to push through and pretend that I was fine. He stated that acknowledging this had upset me wasn’t backsliding into anxiety, but rather, it was me being human. By accepting that this had bothered me, that’s what would allow me to work through it. He said that if I tried to ignore it and pretend that I was fine, that was what would lead me back into a state of anxiety. He went on to say that, by trying to push it down, I may fall back into old habits, which is what had put me into a state of anxiety to begin with. He added that doing so mirrored the environment I used to live in, where I was expected to ignore things that upset me and just push through.
Between ignoring this event and also not taking actual days to rest from the previous weekend, the combination was setting me up to knock me off of my path. Falcon gently explained that he’d given me this warning not to scare me, but to protect me, so that I could get back on track before things went wrong. The way he put it was that the harder I tried to push through these things, the more I was exhausting myself, and the less I was using my discernment and listening to my intuition. With a lack of discernment and not listening to my intuition, that’s what was putting me at risk of stepping off of my path.
He reassured me that I wasn’t off of my path yet, as I simply needed to allow myself actual time to rest. He added that I needed time to process what had happened and allow myself space to feel upset so I could work through it. The thing to understand is that he wasn’t telling me this to scold me or make me feel bad. Rather, because he knows how important it is to me to stay on my path and do the right thing, he was giving me a heads-up now, before things went wrong. It’s not that he didn’t care that I’d been hurting, but rather, he was slowing me down precisely because I was hurting. He was simply holding me accountable for what I was doing, as a form of tough love, because ultimately, him doing this for me was an act of love.
Falcon is telling me to leave it here, saying, “Today’s article is going to be a little bitty one.” With that, I hope everyone has a beautiful day.
