Raquel
A Personal Tale
Sylvester M. Shelton
Sailors tell sea stories — tales of incidents from the sailors’ adventures that are memorable, at least to the sailor telling the story. By definition, sailors enhance their tales with fictional events to make them more compelling for their shipmates. The following tale is without the sea-story enhancement. It’s as faithful to the facts as I can remember 55 years later.
In February 1967, I reported aboard the aircraft carrier USS Ranger (CVA 61) as ship’s company. I was a Special Duty Officer, Air Intelligence. In October 1967, we deployed to the Tokin Gulf in Southeast Asia and conducted air interdiction operations in North Vietnam. My primary task was to develop targets for our aircraft to strike.
The ship’s routine was to conduct air operations for seven consecutive days, stand down for one day. Following, we resumed flight operations for the next seven days. Because we (my cadre of two intelligence specialists) had to determine the tactical targets for the next day’s operations, we worked on the stand-down day to ensure that the targeting was ready for the next day’s air operations.
My intelligence office was a small vault located outside the ship’s air conditioning spaces, one deck below the flight deck, next to the admiral’s ladder. Accordingly, my office was suffused with the oppressive humid heat extant to our Southeast Asia sailing routine.
To compensate, we used two ceiling fans to circulate warm air. A ship’s company detail rigged a light curtain over the vault door so we could keep the vault door open to help circulation. Our targeting function required that we use of an array of maps relevant to the Vietnam War. On these classified maps, we spotted tactical targets: bridges, fuel depots, truck parks, and many others. Some of these targeting maps were classified Top Secret.
Our four walls were posted with these classified maps and other seriously classified information. To warn looky-loos to stay away, we posted a large “KEEP OUT” sign atop the vault door. Ship’s company and men of the air group respected our space. No security violation occurred, except one.
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As luck would have it, Bob Hope’s USO Christmas Tour flew aboard the Ranger the afternoon of 21 December 1967 — our stand-down day. Included in Bob Hope’s troupe were Les Brown, his Band of Renown, a cinematography crew, and staff. Also included was the starlet of the year, Miss Raquel Welch — one gorgeous and sexy dame.
Bob Hope staged a terrific show (Now, Bing Crosby and Bob are playing sub-par golf on that course in the celestial sphere). The music of Les Brown was nostalgic. Raquel was a terrific hit. The troupe was scheduled to remain aboard overnight. Raquel was quartered in the admiral’s suite. My intelligence office was about 100 feet aft of her quarters and along the admiral’s passageway.
After the show, I returned to my vault to complete the targeting plan for the next day’s strikes. I closed the drape over the vault door and became fully immersed in my targeting tasks. Time slid by.
A tap on my shoulder and a soft, throaty female voice snapped me back to reality. “Can you tell me how to get to the enlisted dining hall? I’m supposed to have dinner with Seaman John Jones.”
I whirled around in my chair and saw Raquel standing a few feet from me. Startled, I was momentarily without voice. Raquel Welch was inside my Top-Secret vault — an incredible breach of security. Nonetheless, she was wearing a form-fitting blue micro-mini skirt, high heels, and a skin-tight, brown knit blouse that heighted her breasts. The visual effect was erotically stunning and mind whirling. She was lost in the maze of passageways and the multi-decks of our ship.
Still without voice, and shocked that my North Vietnam air-war might possibly be compromised, I rose from my chair, placed my right hand on her left shoulder and turned her around so that she faced the drape. With a gentle nudge, I guided her outside my vault. No words were exchanged.
Fortunately, a sailor was walking down the passageway. I said to him, “Seaman, take Miss Welch to the enlisted mess.” A large smile cracked on his face, and without ado, they scrambled down the admiral’s ladder. That’s the end of my sea story. But it’s no sea story.
FIN
Bob Hope’s official 1967 USO Christmas Tour video is available on YouTube: Bob Hope Christmas Special (1967) (youtube.com)
I’ve also pieced together a shorter version, just of the show he and Raquel Welch did aboard my ship, the USS Ranger: Raquel Welch 1967 Bob Hope Christmas USO Tour (youtube.com)
