A Night of Pain and Fear
On the night of March 18, 2025, when the war started again, something inside me broke. I woke up to the sound of bombs and the smell of smoke filling the air. The sky outside was red from airstrikes. Fires were everywhere, and I could hear screams of people in pain. Blood was on the streets. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I could not stop crying. I felt sadness, fear, and pain at once.
In just a few hours, around 400 people were killed.
I sat in the dark, asking myself, “Why is this happening again?” I kept thinking about everyone I love, my family, my friends. I was terrified I might lose them or even lose my own life.
Even before this latest attack, I had already lost people I loved. My uncle, Yousef Al-Balawi, was killed in a sudden cruel bombing. My aunt, Raghda Al-Balawi, suffered from cancer but could not receive treatment because the borders were closed. She died without getting help. I also lost my dear friend Laila Al-Louh and her little daughter when their homes were bombed. While they left a hole in my heart, when the war started again, the fear hit me hard. I kept asking myself, “Will I survive this? Who will I lose next?” I had no strength left in me.
Get سناء الطول’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
At dawn, I stood to pray, but I could not stop crying. I was not just praying; I was begging. I asked God to protect us, to end this pain. My soul was crying even more than my voice. I could not sleep after that. All I felt was fear and sadness.
The bombs destroyed everything: our homes, mosques, tents, and shelters. Everywhere I looked, people were hurting. Mothers were crying for their children, fathers searched the rubble for their families. Kids were either screaming in fear or sitting silently in shock. Some were holding the hands of their dead parents. Others had no one left.
When the sun rose, Gaza was filled with pain. No smiles, only silence and sorrow. We had lost our homes, our safety, and even our hope. Hunger and fear became normal.
According to Al-Jazeera, by April 13, 2025, over 1,574 people have been killed and 4,115 injured since March 18, 2025. Since October 7, 2023, more than 50,944 were killed and over 116,000 injured, many of them women and children. But these are not numbers. They are people, our families, our friends, our neighbors. Each number was a life, a voice, a dream, and now they are gone.
I feel exhausted. I feel broken, and I keep asking myself, “How much longer will this last? How many more dreams will be lost?”
Even though I am scared and sad, I still hold on to hope. I believe that one day, Gaza will be free. One day, we will live in peace. I pray with all my heart that this day will come soon.
