How NOT to deal with a breakup 101
We all do it. We all go to Google sensei after a break up and search “how to deal with with a breakup” or “how to move on”. If you don’t do it, then I envy you.
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But no matter what you do, DO NOT do these things after a break up, especially if you want to remain sane and want to get out of a toxic loop. (Who am I kidding, I’m stuck myself).
1. Don’t block them immediately.
After the whole fight and the “yeah fine I don’t need you either”, you immediately feel the urge to block the person and break all contact with them. Well, don’t. You will only end up unblocking them again. And keep wondering if they tried to reach out and couldn’t find you. It’s only adding extra tension to your already full list of worries. Leave them alone. Delete their chat and number maybe. If they come back, fine. If they don’t, even better!
2. Don’t download dating apps
You will think it will be easier to move on if you found someone else. But that won’t happen at all. Instead it would make your post-breakup process worse. You will end up missing them more and compare every guy to them and then get annoyed at yourself for even trying. So just don’t do it. Give it some time. Give your old hobbies a try. Watch a new series on Netflix. Do things that will make you calm and comfortable. Moving on doesn’t have to be with someone. You have to move on with yourself first.
3. Don’t Call/Text them late at night
You’ll get weak and lonely especially during the night. You will lose sleep and cry incessantly and want to reconnect. But this is the biggest mistake we often make. If we give up and text/call them again, we will come off as clingy, weak and probably annoying. The chances of them coming back will also be lessened. So if you can’t sleep, then don’t. Get up, clean your house. Watch an episode of a boring show or read a really boring book. Tire yourself out.
4. Don’t look at old pictures.
Memories hold a lot of power. They can make you feel happy and lonely at the same time. Looking at old happy pictures of you is only going to hurt more and miss them more. So put all their pictures in a folder, compress it into a zip file and shove it away in some online drive. With a scribbly name if you don’t want to easily find it. It’s only for your own good. This way you still have the pictures but are not constantly looking at them while sobbing like a crazy person.
5. Don’t try too hard.
Did anyone ever tell you this? You are trying too hard to move on? Or you’re trying too hard to forget them? It’s not gonna happen in a day or even a week. If you have spent a considerable amount of time with that person, chances are you will never forget them. So stop forcing it. You will go through a hell lot of emotions. And hell lot of nights crying and questioning. But it’s all part of a necessary process. If you try to speed it or skip it, chances are you will end up having a mental breakdown or with more serious health issues. Not everyone deals with grief the same way. So just go with the flow.
Most important of all is to talk to people. Your close people. Tell them how you feel. Bombard them with all your thoughts and doubts. Even if they give shitty advices or bad examples. Just don’t shut yourself in a room. Because venting out does a lot more than bottling up. Don’t do things you don’t want to but also make sure you’re giving yourself a chance to heal naturally.
(I’m literally doing all the things above so you can call me a hypocrite, but you and me together can start following these points from today and surely we’ll be better soon ❤️)
