Middle EatsHell
One day iβll find a way going back, but right now i am stuck
No matter how much I want to go back home, Iβm trapped in this country where people show no mercy. They make you do whatever they want, treating you like a wage slave. As for me, I just want to return home, even if I donβt bring back any money. My mental health is worth far more than staying here just to earn a paycheck.
I keep wishing that all of this is just a dream β that when I wake up, Iβll be back in my own bed, talking to my family in my own language and eating the local dishes I grew up with. Those are the things I miss every single day.
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I started writing again because itβs the only way I know how to cope with everything Iβm feeling. Writing another chapter brings tears to my eyes as I type.
Iβve been asking God for answers and for signs β where should I go? What is the purpose of me still being here?
I also reconciled with my mother and finally told her about everything Iβm going through. After that conversation, a part of me wanted to go home even more. Iβm tired of carrying everything on my own. Iβm tired of always having to be independent and finding my own way.
Right now, all I want is to find peace, wherever that may be.
Asking a help from your own government is useless, they wont help you unless youβve got major valid reasons, being in a suicidal position is already enough, but they would just rather tell you to get your shit together because you've came here in the first place, it is your choice and you gotta finish it. I became so devastated that I wanted to stop working altogether, but doing that could lead to legal consequences. Right now, Iβm trying to find a way out of this chaos.
My dream right now is to have a stable job, and go back to my own country. iβll just keep my hopes up that someday iβll be able find a hole into this hell and get my chance to leave.
