My Journey with Sleep Apnea : 3/3
It’s not just about snoring, snortling, choking. It’s about the gradual decline of mental sharpness that you accepted. It masked itself behind the serious sleep deprivation I had with the kids over the years. 12 years of being the only one who lost sleep, resulting in migraines that a doc took money to tell me — I just need to make arrangements that allow me to sleep.
This putting ourselves last is the worst thing we do to ourselves. If Lwe’re disciplined about the care we provide for others, we need to be disciplined in self care as well. I know far too many women who are running on empty, and are pouring themselves out for everyone else.
Learn to call a spade a spade. It is what it is. Learn to understand that eco system which surrounds you, and learn to honestly ascertain whether this is working well or not. Stop guilting yourself for asking for more support and understanding.
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I’d understand if Bappi Lahiri had sleep apnea ( male, older than 50, thick neck — high probability). But I DO.
Despite all memory problems of the mind, the heart never forgets all those who helped me and were there for me in this very difficult time and how people made me feel. I have breathed easy because of so many hands that took over from me. Ladies, be kind to yourself, and surround yourself with people who are kind to you. It’s easy to judge someone, but do look at their track record — maybe they’re going through something they can’t yet understand. I cannot emphasize the need for kindness here. I have lived off it, and will never forget till my last breath how people made me feel through this.
Why I specially felt the need to write this in excruciating detail, is because all those memes you see on menopause are real. Brain fog, fatigue, listlessness, lack of clarity, mood swings — these are all invisible sacks women carry on their back, other than the stuff they already shoulder.
After a certain age it’s difficult to attribute this to the right cause. So ensure that sleep apnea is ruled out, and please be kind enough to yourself to NOTICE when you don’t feel yourself. My parents filled my gut with the deepest love and only that gives you a reference of who you are. When you see yourself slipping from there, acknowledge it. Years of not “feeling myself” can be fatal. Things can go undetected and you lacked enough self love and the agency that comes with it, to get things checked. Know Thyself, is all I’m going to say.
Cheers and good health to all. Thank you for reading this far, if you’re still here.
