THE CONSTELLATION
THE HAND I ONCE HELD
Disclaimer- This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or real events is purely coincidental.
Well yeah, I copy pasted this disclaimer from Chat GPT. But the story is entirely original. I took help for grammar, and edited the corrections as much as I can, but you could still observe few errors here and there. I didn’t want to lose the originality and hence didn’t tweak much.
“Taara? Is this you?”
Anant typed the text, in a chat that had no name, and no previous history.
He cleared the text nervously, his brows furrowed. Suddenly, breathing became a chore and took effort, the frequency of rise and fall of his chest increased a bit, and the difference was visible, even to himself, from the normal. He put his palm on his forehead; the sweat particles had made his palm cold and wet.
‘Is it important? Should I even do it? Would I look like a stalker and a creep by sending her this?’ He thought to himself, looking towards the ceiling, staring at the fan, dimly visible by the lights, coming in from the balcony door.
The room was pitch dark, the earthy fragrance from the drizzle outside, along with the winds blowing, filled the whole room with a familiar freshness and a sort of a pleasant melancholy, the kind, where the tiny ache in the chest, brings back countless forgotten memories, the ones that don’t hurt but make you long for them again and more.
He lay down on the bed, which was placed closely against the wall, leaving no gap in between, the other side of the bed facing the balcony.
He turned to his side, felt the cold wind, with a trace of moisture from the drizzle, on his face, his eyes closed.
The dark blue, late-evening sky, drizzling the rain, looked like it needed to cry too, that it was feeling too much too and could no longer hold itself.
Anant opened his eyes, and only the tiny portion of the sky, its view obstructed by the chair of his desk, the grills of the balcony and the building in front. Only a tiny portion of it was visible from here.
He adored the color still, the depth of the greyish blue sky, covered with dark black clouds, leaving only a few areas to appear blue and the sky was always his favorite, his best companion.
He sighed and turned on his back again.
“I don’t want to believe that she would have forgotten me. I don’t think my reaching out to her should hurt her, or would it? I should forget her now, it’s been a long time, and the process of making peace without her was painful enough.” He thought to himself, staring at the fan and a poster saying, ‘Welcome’ on the wall towards his legs.
“How can anyone forget anything that mattered to them. How am I supposed to forget her?
She was special to me. She was.. ‘Deep’!”
His train of thoughts halted and a picture of Taara appeared before him.
A tall girl, same height as his own, well-fed slightly chubby body, sky-blue t-shirt and faded pants, lips curved into a shy smile, dark black and deep eyes, with unmade eyebrows, a mole on her left cheek, and pimple marks on her forehead, clutching ‘Aashadh ka ek din’, and ‘Theek tumhare peeche,’ against her chest with one hand, and her phone with a floral cover in the other, appeared before him.
“She never liked wearing makeup, did she? I could see in her eyes how she felt when she looked at others, who seemed prettier than her, following the latest fashion, having perfectly done makeup and hair.
She used to be at peace with the fact, most of the time, that she didn’t like to wear makeup, and that she was bad at following fashion. But sometimes, she wanted to be like them. Still, she never tried, because she loved being who she really was — real and someone who preferred comfort.
She was insecure, sometimes, about her looks though, and felt guilty about not trying, still never bothered to change. That’s what I loved about her.
I never said that to her because I never gathered enough courage to tell her how beautiful she was, that she was the most gorgeous among all the people, without trying, among the ones she thought to be prettier.
I could have never commented on her looks; it would not have been appropriate. After all she made it very clear, how much she hated the idea of typical relationship, love and marriage. I could feel her longing, for the very same things she hated, but she resisted herself so much, that I never felt like overstepping her boundaries. I am glad that I didn’t, otherwise we wouldn’t have been even what we were then,” he thought to himself, staring at the sky, from the chair this time.
He stood up from the chair and picked up the book lying on the bed. Holding it in his hands, he caressed its smooth, shining cover with his thumb — ‘THE CONSTELLATION’ embossed beautifully across it. A dark blue starry night sky, featuring two people looking at the moon above the ocean while holding hands, was on the cover. It was mesmerizing. His eyes were fixated on it in wonder. He moved back to the chair and sat down placing the book on the table.
The author’s name written in black, on the bottom-right corner, caught his eye.
“I’m sure it’s Taara’s. Only she could’ve written this way. The author’s name is indeed Naina, but this is Taara for sure. She never liked sharing what she wrote with her own name; she liked being anonymous, but she failed at it terribly after putting it as her status on ‘Whatsapp’. Everybody would know of course, after she put ‘Check this out! And lemme know how you like it!’
I found her so cute, when she couldn’t contain her excitement and share stuff, she meant to keep anonymous. And then deleting the status after some time, when she no longer could pacify her anxious thoughts, telling her, how everybody would find her cringe and judge her for writing such stories. It wasn’t true at all, but boy would she listen? I never understood her properly, what she felt and everything.
But I always was proud and honestly honored for being the first one to always receive her writings, to always be the first one to read it. She trusted me enough on this,” writing this sentence, brought a rosy glow on his wheatish- pale brown cheeks, his almond shaped eyes closed, and he broke into a smile.
After a moment, he felt a soft ache in his chest, his heart seemed to have leapt a few hurdles, instead of running normally, the smile was fading gradually from his face and his eyes fixated upon the book again.
“I am no longer the first one to read her work, her soul.
She always said that all of the stories she wrote were fictional, but when I saw her, I saw her character’s elements in her.
The way Shree, from her story, hated her hair touching her neck, and hence never left them open, I saw the same thing in Taara. She hated having her hair open, even when they were wet. I don’t know how she dried those mid-length, black strands, always fragrant enough to give her a peculiar smell.
I remember how she smelled from when once I was standing behind her in the queue and when we were sitting together on the bus. I remember her smell s-t-i-ll.
I don’t know why we drifted apart so much. I don’t know really.” He thought to himself and sighed.
He opened the chat on his phone again and stared at the unsaved contact, “I wish I would’ve forgotten her number too. I just wish there was a way to delete memories like we could delete texts,” he said feeling a warm fury inside him, his palms sweaty again.
He opened the book and started reading the sixth chapter — It’s not him; it’s me! from where he had last stopped reading.
The book was about a girl named, Zenith and her life. The secondary character in the book was Rhea, her best friend and roommate.
The extract of the book, Anant was reading- Chapter-6 (It’s not him. It’s me!)
⚠️ Trigger Warning
This chapter holds a piece of Rhea’s past — one she’s hidden in silence for years. It speaks about childhood trauma and a moment of abuse that shaped her deeply. If this is something that might be too heavy for you, please take care of yourself first. You can skip this chapter and return whenever or if ever you’re ready. Rhea’s story will still be waiting.(I took AI’s help to write this trigger warning.)
“Zenith? Are you still here?” Rhea asked, opening the door and entering the terrace.
Zenith got startled and turned the phone’s flashlight towards Rhea.
“Bloody hell Rhea! What the hell? Who scares somebody like this?” she said panting.
“You’re a total idiot you know!” Rhea said covering her eyes with her hands at the sight of bright light rays entering her eyes, all of a sudden, on the pitch-dark terrace, and moved towards Zenith.
“You know what time is it?” she asked loudly and without waiting for Zenith’s answer she continued, ‘Eleven pm! Do you understand? What are you doing here anyway?’, she paused for an answer this time, but Zenith didn’t say anything, just looked at her, putting the phone down and flashlight facing upwards.
She (Rhea) continued again, “Who reads a novel, at night…on the terrace.. in the dark.. with a flashlight? Who does that Zen and why? You’ve got a whole room, with air conditioner for god’s sake, to yourself. Yeah of course I also live in it, but you could always draw the curtains, babe. Why are you sitting here?” she asked Zenith, in a tone of concern, frustration and curiosity all at once.
Zen (short for Zenith) burst into laughter, looking at Rhea’s concern and amusement.
“Come here, my darling baby,” she said to Rhea, laughing even more, and stretching her hands towards her, offering her a hug and inviting her to sit on the floor with her.
Rhea playfully slapped Zen’s hand and shouted, “I’m not your baby!” rolling her eyes and sitting down.
Zen still hugged her despite Rhea’s attempt to resist and kissed her cheek. Rhea was pretending to be angry but clearly, she was enjoying and smiling.
“You’re really a biiiiig idiot, Zen! A big one, really.” Rhea said, laughing and asking Zen again about why she was here.
“Try it sometime, Rooh (Zenith lovingly calls Rhea, Rooh), you’ll understand. Just look at the sky above us.
Photo by Gage Smith on Unsplash
Isn’t it so majestic? Isn’t it just what we crave for constantly — the freedom, the independence, the vast expansion? Its company is the best, Rooh, especially when your room starts to suffocate you, when the doors and walls feel like they are blocking the air from reaching you, it gets hard to breathe in there, among all the pictures of us, becoming what we want to in future.
The air there sometimes feels too heavy from expectations, homesickness, failures, efforts, longing, guilt and I don’t know how many more things.
The Sky is liberating — no pressure, no expectations, no confrontations, only confessions, mesmerizing view and feeling of being hugged by the celestial objects. It’s just so mesmerizing, to leave and be in the room. Isn’t it?”
Anant took his eyes away from the text and thought, “This is why I liked her so much. She only understood what sky really was. She shared the same passion for the sky like mine. I’m really sure now, that this is her book, this is her writing.” He broke into a smile and continued reading again.
Rhea was gazing at Zen’s eyes that lit up as she spoke.
“That’s true, Zen. I wish it was possible for us to just live like this forever, going after what we cherish, what we care about so much, but this world sucks! This does sound interesting though. You have room for another person, under your majestic sky?” Rhea asked, lost in Zen’s eyes, her face shining from the flashlight between them.
Zen’s face lit up and she said, “Of course. There’s only one condition. We can’t talk to each other while reading. What would you do here though?
You don’t read novels. You know, you can just listen to songs, walk and gaze at the sky, or bring your textbooks, whatever you feel like doing. It feels awesome, especially when stars are there, but sometimes they don’t show up. But it still feels good; you’ll be compensated well with peace, while being here.
And yeah, the other rule is not to look at what one’s doing. That’s it. Just like we sit in our room doing our work.”
Rhea knew Zen well and she very much respected her boundaries and privacy. She thought, “There’s something about her. That makes her special, different and even a bit annoying. How can I tell her now, what I meant to tell her while coming here. She seems occupied; I don’t want to ruin this moment of peace for her.”
“Well, firstly, do you really think I’m going to study on the terrace? Nah, never! Well, I’ll Walk, listen to songs and just gaze at the sky and city from here, but at a different time than yours.
We can’t be together here, we ought to have a time, just to ourselves, for an hour or so every day, otherwise we’d be bored of each other. Would you like that?” Rhea said, her lips curved into a mysterious smile.
“Now, this is why you’re a bigger idiot than me. We spend most of our time in our respective classes. When are we together always, Ms. Rhea?” Zen asked, sensing the feeling of being left out in Rhea’s voice because of Zen’s demand of privacy.
She felt sorry about that; Rhea was her best friend after all.
“I don’t want to take your time away from you and your dearest novels, Zen. I enjoy being in the AC more anyway, and I sleep early anyways, maybe the Sun would be my companion from tomorrow. I’ll come here during dawn, it’d be even more pleasant.
I won’t allow you at all then, even if you wake up really early, which I already know is never going to happen. You enjoy reading your novel, in the dark, under this flashlight. You create trouble yourself, amidst all comfort.
You only enjoy your troubles. I’m going to go and watch ‘HOUSE’, with the lights off and the AC set to sixteen, under the blanket. It’s going to be fun.” Rhea squeaked with joy saying the last sentence.
“I love you my baby. You’re the best Rooh! I don’t know what I did to get a friend like you, my darling Rooh.” Zen said, playfully in a dramatic way, with her lips pouted while saying ‘Rooh’, to show that she wanted to kiss, Rooh, to annoy her.
“Leave my hand, you idiot.” Rhea said, laughing and pulling her hand away as Zen held it, not letting go.
“Okay, you want this only, don’t you? Here.” She gave a peck on Zen’s cheek and quickly and ran towards the door, her heartrate sped up for some reason.
People these days! They are getting really crazy after reading these novels. God forbid I ever start reading,” she said jokingly to Zen and went downstairs, still anxious.
Zenith, left alone on the terrace with the flashlights still facing the sky, sighed.
She looked up. There were few stars visible, the moon was absent today.
She said to the sky, thinking about Rhea, “Huh! How can people be this kind?” She gazed at the night sky, like she was searching for someone over there.
She heard a voice and moved her head towards it; it was Rhea at the door again.
“Rooh? You back? What happened to HOUSE?” she asked Rhea, not playfully anymore.
She stood up, leaving behind her novel and the flashlight where they were and moved towards Rhea.
“Rooh? Are you crying Rooh?” she asked anxiously, seeing Rhea’s welled-up eyes.
Rhea didn’t answer, just stood where she was, sobbing.
Zenith came closer to her and hugged her silently, realizing that something had happened.
“Talk to me Rooh! What happened? Is this about Castor?” Zen asked, still hugging her from the side.
Rhea still couldn’t say anything. She was still sobbing, the tears no longer in her control.
They stood there like that for a few moments. Rhea then turned around and put her arms around Zen, hugging her tightly.
Zen also teared up, seeing her best friend like that.
“It’s not Castor, Zen. It’s me.” Rhea said, her voice hoarse from crying.
She loosened her arm and looked into Zen’s confused eyes.
She moved towards the edge of the terrace, towards the railing.
The whole view of the city was visible from there.
Cars moving lined up behind each other, honking at each other, people getting in and out of them. Some people walking, some buying things from the roadside and hanging out. Some dressed up in fabulous coats, some in office suits and some in rags were visible, their head looking like small black balls moving randomly.
The noise from the angry vendors bargaining with the customer, and smell of ‘Momos’ being sold across the street was also there.
The world was moving, at its own pace, like it always does, indifferent to Rhea’s feelings as she looked over it from the top of the building.
Photo by Matteo Modica on Unsplash
Zen also moved towards the railings and stood beside Rhea.
“What’s the matter Rooh? You can talk to me!” Zen asked, putting her hand over Rhea’s on the railing.
“I think I am not the right fit for Castor. I think I should tell him to move on.” Rhea spoke, staring down the building.
“But why? You guys are great together. Did he do something? Tell me and I’ll teach him a lesson. No one can hurt my Rooh.” Zen said quickly, her fingers curled into a fist, and a deep furrow settled between her brows.
“No-no. He didn’t do anything. He’s the sweetest person I have ever met.” She sighed looking into Zen’s concerned eyes.
“Then what, Rooh?” Zen reciprocated.
“He’s too serious about this. I don’t want him to be serious. I can’t imagine my future with him. Not just him but anyone to be honest. And it hurts me a lot to look into his loving eyes, knowing I can’t go further from here.” She turned towards the city; her eyes fixated on the moving cars again.
“But why? What’s stopping you? He’s the best and you both love each other so much, then why you want to leave him?” Zen asked, her eyes demanding answer.
“I’ll tell you. But promise to not look at me, not to feel pity, and never bring this topic ever again, anywhere, not even to me. You promise that first.” Rhea said, her voice as cold as the cold winds blowing.
“Okay Rooh! I promise.” Zen said and moved closer to her, realizing this was something serious and put her arm around Rhea’s shoulder.
Rhea was unable to speak. She was still staring into nothingness, words finding it difficult to come out of her mouth.
“I was nine. A new tenant moved into our spare room on the third floor.
He was a student, preparing for competitive exams. I called him ‘Bhaiya’.
My parents trusted him, and I did too, naturally, just like I trusted every other person back then. He used to play with me, like the other tenants.
We used to play ‘catch-catch’, ‘name, place, animal and thing’ and ‘tic-tac-toe’ etc during my summer holidays. I used to go to his room, whenever bored. He was nice; didn’t yell at me for touching his books and pens lying around. I enjoyed being there. My parents didn’t mind too, knowing how much I used to get bored during the day, when I couldn’t sleep in the afternoon and everybody else slept.
This continued for a while, until one afternoon.”
She paused, and her face went white, her eyes looking downwards, digging the ground below the car, either, with the stare. She couldn’t move; she seemed to have stopped breathing either.
Get UNKNOWN’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Zen caressed Rhea’s shoulder, still confused, sensing something sinking in her abdomen.
Rhea finally looked ahead, and inhaling a deep breath, she continued, “Suddenly, he closed the door, didn’t lock it but closed it, blocking the sunlight, turning the room darker.
I was playing with his pens, when he came near me. He made me sit down on the bed and looked at me. He said that I was beautiful.
I said, ‘I know bhaiya! Everyone says so,’ and smiled. He was still looking at me with a weird smile on his face.
I felt uncomfortable and tried to stand up, but he held my hand, tightly, tight enough to hurt.
I screamed ‘Ahh!’ and he loosened his grip. I could still feel his eyes on me, even when I was looking at his feet coming closer.
He came closer….” And saying this she burst into tears.
Zen was shocked, her eyes welled up too, she pulled Rhea closer and stayed silent, feeling a sinking feeling in her chest, her legs trembling too.
Still sobbing, Rhea continued, “I jumped out of his bed; I sensed danger and tried running towards the door.
I didn’t understand anything, but I could sense danger, and all of a sudden I was so sad, I clearly remember it.
He was still holding my hand; he tried to grab my… chh..chest..!
He did, but then I bit his hand, and ran towards the door and straight to my mom downstairs.
I didn’t understand at all what happened. I didn’t even know that it was wrong. I just felt scared and felt like dying.
I lay on the bed, near my mom, and she tucked me closer to her, still sleeping, thinking I was just tired from the game and wanted to nap. But I hid my face in her arms, my heart beating so fast from the sprint I made while coming downstairs. For the first time, I sensed so much danger. I wasn’t crying; my home just no longer felt safe to me, like before.
And I fell asleep forcefully, clutching mom’s arms tightly.
I told my mom, I no longer wanted to go to his room to play, but she didn’t understand.
I told her again, and then she asked me, ‘Has anything happened?’, to which I told her the story. She couldn’t believe it at first and I had to repeat everything to her again and again. Then she realized the truth.
She didn’t say anything to him about it though. I don’t know why? Was she embarrassed or afraid, I don’t know.
Maybe because dad wasn’t home; he was on duty and was supposed to come two months later.
I just remember that guy leaving the room after a few days, after mom asked him to, saying our relatives were moving in and we needed more space.
I still resent her, sometimes, for not reporting or confronting him, for being weak at that point, but I felt safe after that.
A similar incident happened again a few days later, in my neighbour’s house.
I went to their home to borrow something and again, they had tenants too, and one of them, a bit more friendly towards me.
By then I understood, without anyone telling, that which is a good smile and which is a creepy one.
He had a creepy smile. He called me near him; I pretended not to listen. But then he was the one from whom I had to borrow that thing. I went near him, and again, he held my hand tightly. This time I knew. I dropped the bowl, pulled myself with all my strength and ran towards home.
I told my mom. She moved her head sideways and said, ‘These bachelor students are the worst. I’ll never send you there again. Don’t go out too, when he’s there.’”
“Can you imagine, I used to throw my bicycle on the road, whenever I saw him on the street?
I used to run away. I was deeply scared,” she said clutching the railings tightly with her sweaty palms, her heart racing.
I feared any male who came to my house. I avoided them as much as I could, even if they were just guests.
It took me a long time to be normal again. I hated every single person on the street back then. I hated making eye contact with them and I hated the pens he used.
I still at all costs, avoid that f****** pen, it reminds me of him and his disgusting face and the disgusting thing he used to talk to me about which I didn’t even realize back then, until much later, when I grew up and knew the meaning of those words.
I hated every male out there, back then” she paused, crying inconsolably, hiccups emerging with very breath.
Zen was crying too. She could no longer hold her tears, a fury raging inside her, her heart beating angrily.
She was burning with rage under the skin, anger ready to explode and engulf the monster roaming somewhere out there.
They both didn’t say anything for a while, just cried quietly in each other’s arms.
Rhea continued again, after a while, wiping the tears with Zen’s t-shirt.
“I don’t like Castor coming closer to me or trying to hold my hand. I don’t feel comfortable at all. I pull away then, and I couldn’t meet his eyes.
I couldn’t even talk to him for a whole day, sometimes two.
It hurts him; I can clearly see that, but I don’t want to hurt him any further. He’s lovely. He deserves better than being constantly hurt.
I can’t talk to him about it.
He doesn’t say anything, but he probably thinks that I don’t care enough, which is farther from the truth.
The truth is I don’t feel safe around him, or anyone else!” Rhea took a pause and heaved a sigh.
“I don’t know if I could ever trust anyone again. And he shouldn’t have to wait for my explanations.
He’s my best friend, and I just want us to continue to be that way. I don’t want to lose him.
He respects my boundaries, and I also know he wouldn’t leave me on his own, even if all this continued despite him being hurt.
But I can’t see him hurt, Zen.
I don’t want him to feel like he’s being taken an advantage of.
I can talk to him about everything, but not this and I don’t know why?” Rhea said to Zen, looking at her face now.
“I feel scared of him, when he comes closer. The features of his face suddenly turn different to me; it feels like he’s also one of them — a demon.
I don’t know what he feels about the idea of staying close, as friends, and never coming closer. And I don’t know if it’s okay with him or not, but I no longer want to mislead him.
Also, I don’t know how much time it would take me to ever be normal around all this.”
Rhea continued, still looking at Zen, her eyes demanding an answer to the questions she knew she didn’t want to hear right now.
Zen’s face showed grief, her eyes were furious, and she was clutching the loose end of her t-shirt firmly. She was silent.
She still was not able to absorb what she just heard, about her best friend. She was so deeply hiding this inside her from such a long time, suffering alone without a hint of any sort on her face.
She felt a knife stabbing her heart inside, words not coming out of her mouth.
“I moved on a long time ago, Zen. Don’t you worry. I’m fine.
This is why I don’t like talking about it. People get so silent. The silence I hate, which constantly becomes a reminder of something horrible.” Rhea said to Zen, noticing her concern and the tear marks on her cheeks dried up by the wind.
“So, this is why you don’t like even my touching you? And this is why you pull away when I try to hug you sometimes? I am sorry Rooh! I didn’t know at all. That stupid B******!” she said to Rhea, her palm folded into a fist.
“It’s totally fine Zen. I feel safe around you. Just sometimes, I feel weird and that’s why I pull away. It’s not your fault Zen. Now forget all about it, like you promised.” Rhea asked Zenith, looking at her with a promising expression.
Zen couldn’t say anything, but mustered enough courage and said, “You can talk to Castor, Rooh! He would understand. He’s a nice guy.”
“I guess I must tell him now. I will just explain everything, and the rest it is up to him. He is free to walk out. I’m okay with it.
I’ll probably write a letter to him. I can’t tell him face to face or on call. He loves letters anyway. I’ll write to him.” Rhea said, in a calming way, sighing.
“How old is your younger sister?” Zen asked, her brows furrowed and her eyes fixated on the wall behind Rhea.
“Twelve.” Rhea said, not caring why she asked.
“Did you teach her about good and bad touch?” Zen asked, leaning over the railing now.
“Yes, when she was three.I never want her to be unaware and be a victim of all this. No child, no human deserves it. I think of rape victims sometimes.
I can’t comprehend their pain. I no longer think about them frequently; it hurts. It’s the living and breathing reality, but it hurts just to think. I don’t know how they go through that.
I wish those monsters, go through that very same pain someday. They keep roaming freely on the streets after that.
What a shame! I hate this world and the system you know.” She said, looking down, tears falling down her cheeks again.
Zen looked at her silently, didn’t move from where she was standing, and just watched her tears falling like rain drops from the building. She didn’t try to console her. She remembered something from the novel she was reading.
That’s how just being in someone’s silence meant so much more than trying to say ‘it’s okay’ and consoling them.
They both stood there frozen, their minds blank, until they heard thunder and lightning among the clouds above them.
Photo by Breno Machado on Unsplash
“Let’s go down Rooh. It feels like it’s about to rain.” Zen finally broke the silence.
“Yeah. Let’s go.” Rhea said, turning around and picking up Zen’s novel and the phone. It’s flashlight was still on its light felt like almost touching the sky.
Zen came closer too and they both started walking towards the door.
“The room does feel claustrophobic. The air in there is heavy.
Your sky is indeed majestic, Zen. It held space for my confession too, right? Now, I love your Sky too, Zen.” Rhea said, taking Zen’s hands into her, and looked up at the sky.
Wind brushed both of their faces and messed their hair. They both seemed too tired to react, but a smile broke out on both of their faces, when they looked at each other.
“Well, I am fine being your baby. I love you too baby.” Rhea said to Zen, clutching her hand even more tightly and smiled.
“You’re and will be my baby forever, my darling Rooh.” Zen said, looking at her friend lovingly.
CHAPTER 6th ended.
Anant couldn’t believe his eyes at what he had just read.
He felt a heavy dark cloud of silence surrounding him. He closed the book and became still, not able to comprehend anything.
“Did Taara write it?”
“Did it happen to….T-a-a-ra?”
“Is this the reason she hated the idea of love, dating and marriage? This can’t be Taara.
I know her. This isn’t her. I hope this isn’t her,” he thought to himself standing on the balcony, in the drizzle looking at the sky, not caring about being drenched, tears flowing down his eyes along with the rain.
“She…” he choked.
He wanted to think something, but his mind was numb, still processing the text he just read.
He stood there in the balcony, getting absolutely drenched. He couldn’t think of anything at all.
He just remembered something, and he stood straight, startled. “I held her hand that day, while we were walking in that park. She pulled away, right? She was startled and when I looked at her, she was looking down, with no expressions on her face. I didn’t understand it then. We walked quietly after that. I felt embarrassed, but neither did I say anything, nor did she.”
With grief visible on his face, he clutched the railings of the balcony tightly and turned his head down. “This is why we slowly drifted apart; she talked less and less and ignored me more and more. Now it makes sense,” he closed his eyes shut and whispered, “Ohh, Taara!” under his breath.
He went inside; his clothes completely soaked from the rain and went to the bathroom to get changed.
His mind was still stuck on the book and her. He came out of the bathroom, looking fresh and wiped his wet footprints across the room, quickly, with the mop, his mind somewhere else.
He then sat on the table and started writing something.
He was writing a letter to Taara, her phone number and addresses etched in his memory, unlike the texts he had already deleted.
He tried to write down everything he felt but wasn’t sure how.
After asking about her well-being and congratulating her on the book, he was blank, even after his emotions were overflowing.
He didn’t know what to say. He just wanted to write something, but words weren’t coming out. He tore the letter and opened her chat on the phone again.
“I shouldn’t be desperate to talk to her now? Didn’t I see that promise she took from Zenith? She wouldn’t like to talk about it, especially, to me.” he thought to himself and just stared at his phone for a few moments.
“You know what? Screw it. I am going to just send a ‘Hi’.”
He typed ‘Heyy’, but then cleared it, his fingers were trembling.
He threw the phone on the bed and looked at the book.
“I am going to pretend this is not her, but ‘NAINA’ as it is published. This isn’t my Taara.” he thought leaning back on his chair.
He thought again, ‘I am never going to hurt Taara. Never again! I am going to call her tomorrow morning, and I wouldn’t mention the book at all.’
“I’m going to call her, Anant. I am. She was my best friend; I owe her this much. I hope she’d be okay.”
He stretched his arms and looked up at the ceiling fan. The slow, elegant, movements of the blade, calmed him. He still was thinking about the book.
“I am ashamed of people in our society like that f****** b*******. They are the f****** reason, men are assumed to be dangerous. We are not being dangerous to a**** like him and we would be dangerous towards females?
I wish I could kill him right now. I wish I could just change the system somehow, so that these stupid, a******* would think at least a thousand times, before doing something like this. I don’t what goes inside their f****** brain.” His heart was thumping loudly against his chest, and he thumped the table with his fist, with the same energy.
The table shook loudly, but he didn’t move an inch. His hand was still vibrating from the pain, but he didn’t care, rage etching under his skin.
He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath.
Taara’s beautiful black eyes appeared before him. He could feel the smell of her, her hair, somehow, and he became lost in them.
Ps:- If you have kids at home- siblings, students, cousins, juniors etc. Teach them about good and bad touch. It’s very necessary for kids to be aware about their body and rights from as early as possible. Listen to them always if they ever complain and teach them to report any such incidents immediately. Schools, a lot of times, shy away from teaching this stuff to the kids and they fall victim. It’s our responsibility as adults, to teach them the right thing, only then we can bring the change.
If you made it till here, thank you so much for reading. It really means a world to me. Thank you for your time and patience.
Until next time,
Take Care ❤,
Stay safe and spread awareness!
And most importantly, do not forget to drink water throughout the day, summers have arrived, no. You don’t want to be unconscious, from the heat stroke, while talking to your crush right? ( Just trying to make you smile, don’t mind, lol.)
Seeya soon in the next one.
