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Stepanus BP

Stepanus BP

Late-starting writer. Full-time grandfather. Notes from the space between. Writing what my grandchildren teach me, between gardening and long walks.

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PARENTING

Pushing Gifted Kids Too Hard

Is your gifted child running a race you never intended?

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In the quiet of the studio, Isabell finds her voice — in color. Photo by Katharina Jenny

A few days ago, we watched a video of gifted children performing on shows like America’s Got Talent. A nine-year-old sang opera. Another played the violin with eyes closed. The stage was bright. The judges stood applauding. The audience cheered. And my wife and I — like many others — were in awe.
Is this a classic case of grandparent syndrome?
I don’t think so.

It reminded me of a message I once received from a young mother. She wasn’t boasting about her gifted child. She simply wrote, gently:

“My child is very gifted… but more confused by the day. I’m afraid I’m not guiding her the right way.”

She wasn’t asking for solutions. She was voicing something rarely said out loud:
What if our help is actually hurting them?

Her words hit home. This essay is for her.

As a father, and now a grandfather to nine grandchildren — some already showing signs of giftedness — I understand the deep desire we carry. We want our children to be smart, bold, confident. But also kind, honest, whole.
That desire can quietly turn into pressure. We say we’re guiding them. But…

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Late-starting writer. Full-time grandfather. Notes from the space between. Writing what my grandchildren teach me, between gardening and long walks.