England wilt in the Ashes of Adelaide
Ashes Diary — Adelaide, Day 2
Australia 371 all out
England 213–8 (trail by 158 runs)
Well that was (almost) as poor a session as any England cricket fan feared. Ragged for 40 minutes with the ball, defeated by a goat, a jaffa from the Aussie skipper, and Ollie Pope’s bloody minded determination to get dropped for playing shit shots. Dire stuff.
Commencing Day 2 on 326–8 and ever so slightly behind on many judge’s scorecards, Australia began a day of dire misery for England as they clearly meant to go on — being a hard-bitten bunch of ruthless winners who revel in their opponents demise. It’s Ashes cricket, mate. Not a place for “weak men”, apparently. So England toiled for 40 minutes as Mitchell Starc clubbed some shabby bowling all around the Adelaide Oval on his way to back-to-back 50’s. Scottie Boland got in on the act too. England had badly “lost” the first 40 minutes of a day they had to win lest the Ashes be all but over.
With an hour and ten minutes until the Lunch Break, this was Ashes cricket my friends. Short, sharp bowling spells from the Aussies. England, a day to win and an entire day to bat well, big, and biff those damn Aussies on the nose…
Crawley caught Carey bowled Cummins 9
The forever scorebook will show Zak Crawley only scored 9 runs (and I’m forever guilty of being his loudest fan) but Crawley looked tidy, confident and organised in a carefree and growing partnership of 37 with Ben Duckett. Crawley was the anchor for 40 minutes of somewhat English calm and control of the game. They still trailed the Aussies by a mammoth 334 1st innings runs, but Crawley and Duckett were setting a platform for the day ahead. Until Cummins joined the Ashes party with a “jaffa” of a ball that snagged the faintest of edges, and Crawley’s day was done.
Pope caught Inglis bowled Lyon 3
Oh Ollie! England tumble from 37–0 to 41–2 as Pope tries a whip of a shot through midwicket that looks glorious and magnificent when 75 not out and running the show, but a thoughtless waft when 3 not out and facing just the third ball from Nathan Lyon. Josh Inglis snags a simple, diving catch, and Ollie Pope is a 2nd innings century away from his Ashes tour ending in horrible disappointment.
Duckett bowled Lyon 29
14 balls. 5 runs. 3 wickets. 37–0 to the cricketing chaos of 42–3 in the blink of an eye. Pope’s wicket above was Test Match victim number 563 for the “Goat” Nathan Lyon. He joined the genius bowling of Glenn McGrath in becoming Australia’s second highest wicket takers of all time before standing alone with an absolute peach to defeat Duckett here.
Tea Day 2 — England 132–5 (trail by 239 runs)
“Tough Test cricket” according to Kerry O’Keeffe, and who would argue against him? England have batted well. But the bloody Aussies are just bloody relentless. Line and Length attacking bowling. Attacking the stumps. Attacking the game. England hanging on.
Root caught Carey bowled Cummins 19
The big fish is reeled in after a solid start and yet another gem of a delivery from Pat Cummins that tempted the ex England captain into a tentative non-shot that snagged a faint edge through to Carey.
Brook caught Carey bowled Green 45
Carey’s third catch of the innings rather summed up their visitors plight — Harry Brook had solidly accumulated the majority of the runs in an ongoing partnership of 56 with Ben Stokes until those relentless and ruthless Aussies did what they always do, they changed a part in a determined winning machine and Green immediately bowled in good areas, and Brook “nicked off”.
Dear Fox Cricket
Whilst you have an outstanding commentary crew, the best in the business in fact, can we have lots more stump-mic only periods please. More Labuschagne “chirp”. Thanks!
Stumps Day 2 — England 213–8 (trail by 158 runs)
Another death of English cricket?
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Or just outplayed in every facet of the game by a ruthless and relentless gang of mates and professional, old school gang of winners?
Smith caught Carey bowled Cummins 22
Controversy will reign, but I have no interest in talking or even trying to explain “Snicko” as this dystopian tech just boils my piss almost as much as VAR in football. The tech failed. Smith edged through to Carey, apparently. England on the verge of collapse. Again.
Jacks caught Carey bowled Boland 6
A beauty from Boland. The Aussie cricket machine in full effect.
Carse bowled Boland 0
The unrequited love of my cricket life reduces England to 168–8 by pinging back Carse’s middle stump.
Throughout this chaotic cricket carnage, England captain Ben Stokes gamely batted in the stifling heat for over four hours as he limped his cramping body to 45 from 151 balls received. A captain’s knock in a face saving partnership of 45 with Jofra Archer that inched England to Stumps.
Daily Recap
Australia
In the words of Lou Reed, today was a “perfect day”.
45 runs to bloody England’s nose at the start of the day.
8 wickets from a gang of winners to knock them out.
Bowling professionals.
Attacking “line and length” bowling.
Supreme artistry from a skipper, a “goat” and a “barrel”.
Australia won The Ashes today.
There’s a chasm between the two teams.
Australia will win The Ashes even if…
England
Pull off a cricketing miracle!
Ben Stokes crashes a century!
Jofra Archer a flamboyant 50!
England are level on 1st innings!
The Ashes are ALIVE!
That would be a ridiculous miracle.
But more miracles would be required just to be anywhere near competitive in the 2nd innings as they chase a score on a dusty, crumbling deck against a remarkably ruthless and relentless Aussie gang of mates.
The Ashes are over even if Ben Stokes produces a miracle.
Wisden Whimsy — Adelaide Day 2
13th January to 19th January 1933
England 341 and 412
Australia 222 and 193
England won by 338 runs
“This match brought the “Bodyline” or fast leg-theory controversy to its crest. Although Woodfull was struck over the heart and Oldfield, attempting to hook, sustained a fractured skull when the score was 222 for 7, both were accidental injuries involving short balls pitched outside the off stump. When the governing bodies of the two countries exchanged terse cables it seemed that the tour might be abandoned. Woodfull carried his bat through a completed innings against England for the second time. Richardson kept wicket in England’s second innings. The match was attended by a record aggregate of 172,926, including 50,962 on the second day”
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