Stephen Stark Note: Day 1
I will start this series from today. Recently I feel overwhelmed with so many things that happened in my life. There is the time I just gazing around, puzzled what the hell I should do next and what decision I should choose. This situation is sucks because most of the time I will end up doing nothing at all and trapped doom scrolling on social media platform.
I put one rule to my self. Every single time I feel lost and confuse I will come to this space just to write everything that bothering me. I know it’s better to write it in my personal notebook but there is the time I forgot I have it (pretend not to have it or whatever stupid reason I have). Typing on the laptop will not train my brain but at least it could help a bit than not doing nothing at all.
Stephen Stark is my alter ego (well I have several alter ego tbh but I will use this person here, I kind have personal attachment to this one for some reason) so I can speak freely without any judgment. I don’t give a fuck the people who read my note here, this is my personal space and in here I don’t bound or represent to any person, third party, or institution.
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It just me, Fahri as Stephen Stark.
Anyway, I am waiting for a good news currently. I have been waiting since last week and it’s horrible because it make me overthinking. I put high expectation to this one and I am aware this is not good for me. I just want to admit it I wish the news can come to me as soon as possible. I just want certainty so I can moving on or take further action. Probably it is the test of life that Allah gave to me. I will try to keep put an effort on it, the only thing that I can do as human being.
In the mean time, I try to prepare my self by perform self review and keep study so when the time comes I am ready to face it in the best condition.
I want to be honest as well I don’t enjoy talking randomly to people again in english like I used to. I am done dealing with fake people through online. The fact that I know the truth where the others didn’t want to tell me is horrible. I want to focus on my self for now on so I decided to stay away from several social media platform. Join english speaking community is fun, but for now I am exhausted. The people using fake name, giving false information about them, and other crap. I just realize it’s give me bad vibes.
I will follow up again to other party tomorrow morning, I hope they can give me certainty immediately.
