You’re a Woman So You’re Weak.
I Have never told someone my dad called me a “FAILED GRADUATE“ that he cursed me 3 times before he died
The day was hot I had got home from school, my lecturer had delay our lectures talking about linguistics like time didn’t matter.
I trekked from back gate to my hostel at 3pm.
I got home by 3:30
I fell down on my bed exhausted, I bet you I couldn’t. sleep
Even if my eyes were closed it didn’t meant i was sleeping
My mind was awake replaying everything that had happened in the morning, bargaining what to buy
“Should I fill my gas cylinder or borrow but gas is expensive and I hate borrowing “
I was on my bed when my brother suggested to help with buying the foodstuff. he works remotely and he has been working remotely for 5 years
He sent me on an errand to another street far but the only place i could get things cheap — not cheap exactly
Just enough to keep my changes
I took the gas cylinder with me i finally accepted i was going to fill it even if i bargained so much
At the supermarket I was checking and rechecking if the yam was worth the price “one thousand five hundred naira” if not
My brother a perfectionist would send me back to the supermarket if the yam wasn’t worth the price
I got home by 6pm unfortunately the gas station was closed I was frustrated, dry, and thin before I got home
I’m 20 years old. 300 level Uniben student I’ve grown worthy to be respected
By 7pm the gas went off and my brother sparked with anger. he said so many but I could remember “None of your things are efficient.… Your school fees are. wasted” he said so much I could bear I thought my dad curses finally worked my brother went out and didn’t come home till 9pm
I was tired of explaining so I waited ready to face my consequences “Bro kill me”
He. came back borrow from a friend and continue cooking
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I can’t describe who my brother is but is a kind. I could kill if I have a chance someone not worth loving
I couldn’t eat — I just laid on the floor with his words passing through my ears streams to my head
“Does he knows how I feel “
“I am traumatized but no one knows “
I couldn’t tell my mom because my mom would never believe me.
I am a woman So they believe me to be weak. I can’t talk, my mom once said I ought to remain quiet. even if my brother put knife on my neck
they don’t know there are women that would bite his penis off first instant
I am a woman that. loves to be quiet
“what do I gain”
There are women 18, 19, 17, 16 that would report him to a police
“if you have seen your menses you are a woman”
some women would kill him first instant of locking them out at night to sleep in the cool because he did
I am just a quiet woman and it has bitten me enough it has cause me pain
I have eaten more I could chewed so I have decided to take laws in my brown hands
Each time he speaks I defend myself. I choose myself because I ought to
I talk to him back which in Africa it’s some sort of insults even if you are right
But I don’t care
i’m 20 years worthy to be respected
I’m a woman and I deserve to be also respected too even if I was not 20
I’m also human
Maybe we should control ourselves the way we speak to one another because in a one way or two it affects another it’s not just my brother but many of readers who claims to know better talk to people without thinking about how they feel
It’s kill and truly it has killed something inside of me
