Relationship Diary
Things that really bother me about my boyfriend but I can’t do much about it
I really dislike that he eats meat. And that he told his friend he can’t go vegan. I don’t know why he told me he could, I don’t like it at all, he’s now trying to say that he could do it, only because I brought it up, it doesn’t count. It doesn’t count if he does it for me, and not for the love of animals. We don’t share that, and it’s the biggest part of my heart and my life, my heart is filled with animals and his stomach is filled with their dead body parts. I know he won’t be my forever person, this is just something I can’t just get over.
I really hate that he associates me with his ex. He makes comparisons, I don’t care if they’re “coincidences”, I just really dislike it, there’s no need and it feels rude and filthy. Every time I remember it I feel upset, and it affects my respect for him.
I can’t stand the fact that he follows hundreds of girls on instagram, deactivating his account won’t make me feel better at all, in fact I’ll feel worse because it’s obvious he’s just pausing the account with all the girls so he can keep them for later. I really hate it it’s such an embarrassing thing to have a man who follows hundreds of girls. It’s such an embarrassing thing for a man to do. Only ugly insecure ones do that, ones that are desperate. It’s very off putting. Im not going to ask him to unfollow all of those girls, if he doesn’t want to, then he doesn’t want to and that’s just who he is. Which is definitely making me like him less. It’s really decreasing my attraction to him.
I had to ask him to defend me AGAIN with his friend, after he said he doesn’t want him or his gf to be close friends with me, he just let it slide, he didn’t say anything about it until I brought it up, and this was already after we had the intense conversation about him not standing up for me. He still didn’t do it on his own, he had to be asked. It just makes him an irritating thing to me.
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These things make me not want to even kiss him. It’s just icky. My view and perception of him is changing, a lot and very quickly. He’s not the man I thought he was. I can see my attraction for him fading. I can feel the respect I held for him breaking. I can sense the dislike growing.
It’s not going to go away. I think it’ll just keep building. And he can’t / won’t fix these things, not in the right way, not in the proper way. I won’t like if he just does quick easy things, like temporarily not eating meat, or deactivating his account / making a new one or just not talking about his ex, that’s just nonsense, none of that is good enough, it’s lazy.
I dislike that we don’t go on dates. I dislike that he doesn’t put in that effort, that he doesn’t have a plan when he picks me up, he just doesn’t know what we’re doing. Why. Why. Why. I dislike that he calls me his girlfriend when he hasn’t had the respect to make it official. He hasn’t been picking me flowers any more. He hasn’t been calling me pretty as often. He hasn’t picked me up in a hug. He hasn’t been leading. HE HASNT COME UP WITH ANY SOLUTIONS. I feel like he’s just waiting for me to do it and saying he doesn’t know or acting like it’s a joke or not serious or saying he can’t think properly about it. It’s taxing. It’s off putting. Why is he not coming up with solutions. Why.
I dislike that he probably will just want to sit in my house. I dislike that he hasn’t come up with ideas on how to make things right with my dad. I dislike that he lets his brother just say whatever about things.
I really dislike that he hasn’t fixed my driveway where he spilled oil, my dad’s right, it is disrespectful. He’s not taking it seriously. He even had the audacity to ask if it’s not that important with my dad anymore since we won’t be together forever. Lazy. He should’ve fixed it a long time ago, or at least recently, at least before seeing me again. Why is he not doing anything right. Why must I tell him, why must I guide him, why must I lead him and us. I’m unhappy. I’m disrespected. I’m unattracted.
Im really disappointed. Im really disappointed in him. I really don’t like that I have to spell these things out for him. It makes him sad that we won’t be together forever but what does he expect if these are the things he’s making me deal with.
