Practically 30… going on 15
When someone is approaching her thirties and hears someone say to her: “You don’t look your age.” It could go two ways.
[1] Either she looks older. [2] Or looks younger.
Now, which one do you think she’ll prefer to hear?
If you said that she’ll prefer to look younger, I would probably agree with you.
But what if someone approaching thirty looks much, much younger than their age, so much so that it impacts their entire personality and the way that people treat them daily.
They wouldn’t always want to hear: “You don’t look your age.” Right?
All they’d want to hear is: “You look your age.”
Most recently, I had a dentist appointment for my annual cleaning. It was with a new dental assistant, so she started with making some small talk to ease my nerves.
That’s when she asked me if I was still going to school.
I paused a bit. It was honestly a harmless question.
But I thought maybe she’d seen my birth date on my files or if she meant graduate school, so I kind of sheepishly smiled and said that I’ve graduated from my master’s program five years ago.
She looked shocked. Not the overly-exaggerated kind. Nor the hyping-a-girl-up kind. She genuinely looked shocked.
Even worse, she jokingly said: “Oh, I thought you were 15 or something.”
Quite frankly. I am not. Not even close.
Now, you might say I’m exaggerating on this story and that I should just take it as a compliment. Of course, I know she didn’t mean any harm or anything, so I took it at face value and thanked her. Any girl would feel a tinge of happiness not looking older.
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It’s just that… this wasn’t the first time I was mistaken for a 15-year-old.
Whenever I try to order soju or makgeolli at a Korean barbecue place, I’d get asked for my ID. Of course, waiters and waitresses should always ask for ID because that’s the law.
But sometimes they would take a closer look at my face, and I mean a very close look.
To the extent that their own face would be inches away from mine. Not so close that it would be borderline imposing on my personal space, but enough for me to notice like, woah, you’re a bit close there.
I found this odd, especially, when I’m the only one at the table getting carded, even when I’m not the only one drinking, or when I’m the oldest one at the table and the staff were much more lenient to my younger friends.
Sometimes, when I get ID’d elsewhere like at the liquor store or anywhere 18+, they’d make a comment when they see my ID like “wow” or show a face that suspects me of using a fake ID.
Trust me. I have never used a fake ID. Ever.
One time, when I was waiting outside of the club for hours in the cold, I got turned away at the door because the bouncer thought I didn’t look like my ID.
Dude. How do I not look like me? Pray tell.
I even brought both my license and health card that time too.
To be honest, I was fine with this situation throughout most of my twenties because, well, twenties are still considered the young and youthful years. And looking younger for longer beats looking older quicker.
Now that I’m reaching my thirties, I’m having second thoughts like: “When do I look my age?” and “When would I stop being treated as a child?”
Thinking about it…
Yes, it’s quite odd to be treated like a 15-year-old when approaching thirty, but if someone treated me like I’m older than my age, I might be taken aback.
Because throughout my entire life, I am already accustomed to the way people treat me like I am younger. And if there are certain gestures or expressions that differ to what I have already experienced, I’m not so sure if I would take that well either.
And it’s not as though I’m not anxious about aging. Heck, I have a drawer full of Korean skincare just to stop my wrinkles from forming and my skin from sagging.
It’s an internal dilemma that I think would go on for decades up until I someday will look older than my age. And to be honest, that scares me more.
Comment below if you’re also experiencing this struggle and if there are any stories you’d like to share. I would love to open the conversation for those that feel like they’re left behind not just the visual aspects but also in every corner of our lives like career, relationships etc. and create a community that offers comfort just from being in this together.
